Heading for a divorce

[DereX888]

Holy prostitution, batman !

I can't believe this thread has degenerated into talk of hookers and whatnot

IMO it's a lot like video - why pay for something when a freeware alternative exists and does a comparable (if not better) job ?

There are freely-available women who just want to ****. You just have to know where to look

LOL Jim, it didnt degenerated into talk of hookers, it was about hookers from begining LOL
After all most wives (at least ex-wives) turn out to be very very overpriced hookers

And yes, there are women for free, or almost free, its called dating And these women are NOT hookers, they don't charge their men for anything At least not until some unfortunate fool marries one...

[bazooka]

It has to do with money.

I had just started back to work with the inventory company and realized two days ago that because of the way the company did the scheduling, I would not be able to pay any of my bills, when you factor in my son would have to go back to daycare. All I would be doing is paying for daycare and that is it.

I would fall even further behind on my tuition payments and would not have any money to go get my certs, so I quit and decided to go to the school to see what they had in the way of jobs.

My wife thinks I do not want to work, which is wrong. She has attacked me now for almost two years, and I am getting terribly tired of it. When I was in school, she wanted me to work full-time and I told her I couldn't or my grades would suffer. Now that I am out of school, I send off my resume left and right with no luck.

This is why I have not been here very much lately. I feel like tearing my hair out.

[DereX888]

It has to do with money.

I had just started back to work with the inventory company and realized two days ago that because of the way the company did the scheduling, I would not be able to pay any of my bills, when you factor in my son would have to go back to daycare. All I would be doing is paying for daycare and that is it.

I would fall even further behind on my tuition payments and would not have any money to go get my certs, so I quit and decided to go to the school to see what they had in the way of jobs.

My wife thinks I do not want to work, which is wrong. She has attacked me now for almost two years, and I am getting terribly tired of it. When I was in school, she wanted me to work full-time and I told her I couldn't or my grades would suffer. Now that I am out of school, I send off my resume left and right with no luck.

This is why I have not been here very much lately. I feel like tearing my hair out.

Im sorry to read that.
Well, it is always about money.

But I dont understand how could you decide to go back to school when you had a baby at home? If she was the only one making income in your house at that time, then it was very unresponsible of you at least. If I were her, I would have dumped you right away the day you quit your job and went to school. Sorry for sticking my nose into none of my business, but youve made it public, so... And if my assumption is correct, then you'll be totally fucked when it comes out in the court.

[bazooka]

It has to do with money.

I had just started back to work with the inventory company and realized two days ago that because of the way the company did the scheduling, I would not be able to pay any of my bills, when you factor in my son would have to go back to daycare. All I would be doing is paying for daycare and that is it.

I would fall even further behind on my tuition payments and would not have any money to go get my certs, so I quit and decided to go to the school to see what they had in the way of jobs.

My wife thinks I do not want to work, which is wrong. She has attacked me now for almost two years, and I am getting terribly tired of it. When I was in school, she wanted me to work full-time and I told her I couldn't or my grades would suffer. Now that I am out of school, I send off my resume left and right with no luck.

This is why I have not been here very much lately. I feel like tearing my hair out.

Im sorry to read that.
Well, it is always about money.

But I dont understand how could you decide to go back to school when you had a baby at home? If she was the only one making income in your house at that time, then it was very unresponsible of you at least. If I were her, I would have dumped you right away the day you quit your job and went to school. Sorry for sticking my nose into none of my business, but youve made it public, so... And if my assumption is correct, then you'll be totally fucked when it comes out in the court.

First of all, I was fired last year because I decided to stand up for myself when the company was bouncing paychecks. I was then unable to draw unemployment, because they said I was being insubordinate.

Second of all, she pushed me to go to school. I had always been good at electronics, and wanted to go into business in the computer sector.

[DereX888]

All right, man, no need to be so jumpy and defensive. Ofcourse I don't know the entire story. I only wrote how I see it, based on what you have wrote.
Anyway - if it really comes to divorce - I wish you lots of luck.

[Capmaster]

Do you think there's a chance it will work out? Have you sat down with her and laid it all out for discussion?

[Guest]

Do you live in a state that has the alimoney (sp?) law? That law drives me crazy. I mean , women want all these rights, and to be treated as equals....but if we get divoriced we have to support them until they find a job. That isn't right.

There is no alimony in Texas.
Either way -- this is certainly putting the cart beforte the horse, as I am sure there are many things that reamin to be tried before pulling the trigger on divorce.

Do you have to split assests if your spouse does noot work?

[northcat_8]

Well Gitreel....that sucks

I certainly know how stressful these things can be. I know I pm'd you about my situation a few weeks ago, and just so you know, that situation has died down and wife and I are doing very well, some time inconsistencies poked big holes in the credibility of the emails. I am still continuing restitution collection. But anyway...the reason I brought that up is because the situation caused my wife and I to really communicate and some underlying issues came to the forefront.

Fighting over money is never going to be positive. I can only give my opinion and how I approach things with my wife. Without knowing how you view marriage and your role in it, it's difficult to pinpoint but generally.

A marriage is a team. It is you 2 working against the world. Never compete against the neighbors, you guys don't have their jobs. Being a coach I make this statement every year at the start of practice: "If you want to play for me, you will park all selfishness, all hidden agendas, and all personal goals. If you want to play for me; individually you will do what is best for the team even if it is not best for you, and success or accolades you receive will come from the "TEAM" concept, no one will be out there doing their own thing." and I feel the same way about any team. In football terms someone has to occupy the defense while the running back scores...that's how the game works, I feel the sameway about any team function, even marriage. If it's not best for the family, then it's not best for me.

A marriage is not a competition between husband and wife <which is where you seem to be, and my wife was too> It's not you against her, when an arguement breaks out, the words you say need to be truthful and on topic. Saying things just to "get at her" or to "make her mad" will come back to haunt you later and are worthless communication. For example, when my wife and I argue, voices never get raised and if she starts yelling at me I just tell her "that's great honey, and I realize you are upset, but how is "me being an *******" going to help us solve this problem?"

I also think it is the man's duty to make the woman feel "special" to keep her emotionally and psychologically satisfied. I do not feel the other direction is necessary. She does not need to do that for you, you're a man for crying out loud, suck it up

You said that you did not work through school to keep your grades up...well, I have to tell you, that you are not going to get any sympathy from me on that issue. I've walked that path. When I decided to go to college I already had a family and I did work fulltime through college. Granted the factory work from 10:00 pm - 7:30 am, then classes from 8:00 am - 3:30 pm schedule for 3 years was not easy and I wouldn't recomend it, but it didn't kill me and it was what was best and necessary for the team, so I sucked it up and did what I needed to do...even if it wasn't best for me <I turned my B.S. in 3.5 years and only overloaded one semester, 2.74 GPA...I should mention in my last semester I couldn't work fulltime...student teaching...my GPA was 3.9>. So in my opinion you could have worked fulltime throughout college and should have, but you didn't and you can't change that so the problem is how to work around that or at least how to get her to terms with it without resenting you for it. Which it seems like she does.

I am also of the opinion that since you have children, you 2 should suck it up and stay together. In my philosophy...the children are the ones who are going to pay for the divorce, they are innocent by standers and that is just not right. You 2 had the kids, you were in love at one time, you can at least be friendly and sociable in your interactions with eachother. I see kids of divorced families everyday...it's a bad situation no matter how you slice it. <I know I'm preaching to the chior here, but that is just how I see it> and I know adults say "well the kids don't want to live in a house like that" that's bullshit. Unless the relationship between you and your wife is a physically or verbally abusive relationship, the kids just want both parents, they don't get involved in mom and dad's disagreements. If it's a verbally abusive household then both of you should be horse whipped, that's bullshit, be adults for christ's sake, what is this...HS? Just my opinion.

The best thing you can do is just talk to her and THEN listen to her. Even if you don't agree with what she's saying or what she thinks, you need to hear what she is saying. And I know this may seem like contractory advise, but in order to keep things together, you may have to bite the bullet and jump through some hoops for her. Realize that in America, it is still generally thought that the man works to support the family. You may have to work in some job that doesn't meet your needs until you find one that does. It's basically boiling down to priorities.

So in summation

Team concept
Don't compete with eachother
Never "argue", discuss instead
Never raise your voices
Keep her feeling special
Keep her happy
Always be honest

It's a raggedy deal I know Bazooka, good luck with it. Again I don't know your particular situation or your wife, so take from it what you will.

[AlecWest]

Bazooka,

I think a couple of people earlier gave some good advice. You and your wife need a neutral arbiter (ie., marriage counselor) as a sounding board. This is not just to save your marriage ... but possibly to discover if your marriage CAN or SHOULD be saved in the first place. Before I divorced my ex, I pleaded with her to come with me to a counselor. She finally did ... but oddly, it was revelations that came out during counseling that wised me up to how much I was being manipulated (correction - how much I was allowing myself to be manipulated) by my ex ... making divorce the best option for me.

Divorce is not always a bad thing. Sometimes, it can be the best thing for both parties. It's been said that nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. Those kind of statistics are easy to track. What's less easy to quantify is the number of marriages that don't end in divorce because one or both parties find it easier to remain in an unhappy relationship.

[Guest]

Bring her home a sack of lime.

[zzyzzx]

I'll add your story to my long list of reasons not to have kids.

Anyway, after reading everything I'm more inclined to side with the wife. Even in this day and age, women aren't interested in supporting a man. You need to get a job, any job. Not just the one that your resume says that you are looking for. If Mexicans can sneak inot the country and get a job, with no documentation or knowledge of the English language, and they can support themselves. So can you.

[bazooka]

Well Gitreel....that sucks

I certainly know how stressful these things can be. I know I pm'd you about my situation a few weeks ago, and just so you know, that situation has died down and wife and I are doing very well, some time inconsistencies poked big holes in the credibility of the emails. I am still continuing restitution collection. But anyway...the reason I brought that up is because the situation caused my wife and I to really communicate and some underlying issues came to the forefront.

Fighting over money is never going to be positive. I can only give my opinion and how I approach things with my wife. Without knowing how you view marriage and your role in it, it's difficult to pinpoint but generally.

A marriage is a team. It is you 2 working against the world. Never compete against the neighbors, you guys don't have their jobs. Being a coach I make this statement every year at the start of practice: "If you want to play for me, you will park all selfishness, all hidden agendas, and all personal goals. If you want to play for me; individually you will do what is best for the team even if it is not best for you, and success or accolades you receive will come from the "TEAM" concept, no one will be out there doing their own thing." and I feel the same way about any team. In football terms someone has to occupy the defense while the running back scores...that's how the game works, I feel the sameway about any team function, even marriage. If it's not best for the family, then it's not best for me.

A marriage is not a competition between husband and wife <which is where you seem to be, and my wife was too> It's not you against her, when an arguement breaks out, the words you say need to be truthful and on topic. Saying things just to "get at her" or to "make her mad" will come back to haunt you later and are worthless communication. For example, when my wife and I argue, voices never get raised and if she starts yelling at me I just tell her "that's great honey, and I realize you are upset, but how is "me being an *******" going to help us solve this problem?"

I also think it is the man's duty to make the woman feel "special" to keep her emotionally and psychologically satisfied. I do not feel the other direction is necessary. She does not need to do that for you, you're a man for crying out loud, suck it up

You said that you did not work through school to keep your grades up...well, I have to tell you, that you are not going to get any sympathy from me on that issue. I've walked that path. When I decided to go to college I already had a family and I did work fulltime through college. Granted the factory work from 10:00 pm - 7:30 am, then classes from 8:00 am - 3:30 pm schedule for 3 years was not easy and I wouldn't recomend it, but it didn't kill me and it was what was best and necessary for the team, so I sucked it up and did what I needed to do...even if it wasn't best for me <I turned my B.S. in 3.5 years and only overloaded one semester, 2.74 GPA...I should mention in my last semester I couldn't work fulltime...student teaching...my GPA was 3.9>. So in my opinion you could have worked fulltime throughout college and should have, but you didn't and you can't change that so the problem is how to work around that or at least how to get her to terms with it without resenting you for it. Which it seems like she does.

I am also of the opinion that since you have children, you 2 should suck it up and stay together. In my philosophy...the children are the ones who are going to pay for the divorce, they are innocent by standers and that is just not right. You 2 had the kids, you were in love at one time, you can at least be friendly and sociable in your interactions with eachother. I see kids of divorced families everyday...it's a bad situation no matter how you slice it. <I know I'm preaching to the chior here, but that is just how I see it> and I know adults say "well the kids don't want to live in a house like that" that's bullshit. Unless the relationship between you and your wife is a physically or verbally abusive relationship, the kids just want both parents, they don't get involved in mom and dad's disagreements. If it's a verbally abusive household then both of you should be horse whipped, that's bullshit, be adults for christ's sake, what is this...HS? Just my opinion.

The best thing you can do is just talk to her and THEN listen to her. Even if you don't agree with what she's saying or what she thinks, you need to hear what she is saying. And I know this may seem like contractory advise, but in order to keep things together, you may have to bite the bullet and jump through some hoops for her. Realize that in America, it is still generally thought that the man works to support the family. You may have to work in some job that doesn't meet your needs until you find one that does. It's basically boiling down to priorities.

So in summation

Team concept
Don't compete with eachother
Never "argue", discuss instead
Never raise your voices
Keep her feeling special
Keep her happy
Always be honest

It's a raggedy deal I know Bazooka, good luck with it. Again I don't know your particular situation or your wife, so take from it what you will.

While I respect your opinion, I regret to inform you that your method would not work with me. I am not looking for your sympathy, but I have a medical condition that you do not believe in. That is Attention Defecit Disorder. I have had it all my life.

In elementary school, I had to have my own cubicle because I could not concentrate. I also had to transfer schools because a teacher like you tried to fail me on purpose. My mom ending up getting her fired and the principal got into hot water because he did not believe in it as well. In junior high I failed the seventh grade once because I did not understand math and failed english which is my strongest subject. My mom thought I would never graduate high school, but I did.

I was diagnosed with the worst case of A.D.D that a person could have. I have struggled with jobs all my life and got fired once because the employer deemed me an accident risk. They did not want to tell my wife that I was dead one day.

With that said, I am not you. I worked full time originally when I started school and my grades tanked to about a 2.7. I worked part-time and fought with my wife about working part time. I worked my tail off to get my grades raised back up to where I finished at 3.43.

I went to a technical college at night usually from Monday to Friday from 6p.m. to 11p.m. and most employers did not want to hire me at the time because my schedule was not flexible. When I worked for the inventory company, I would have to sometimes cancel jobs so that I could get my homework done. During the day, I would take care of my son and send out resumes.

So please do not give me the story about how you were able to do it and I should have been able too.

[northcat_8]

Well since you obviously did not recognize my intentional effort at tactfulness....

Hey Jack, you posted it. What do I give a **** if you and your wife get a divorce. Maybe your wife is a little tired of excuses, ADD may fly with the school system but selling it to your wife is another story. At some point in time, she is going to reach the "I don't give a ****" line...it appears that you are there.

I think you should have a job. Give me a ******* break. Be a man. Any amount of money you make is better than not making ANY money at all. McDonalds hires people everyday, I've never seen anyone who wants a job, not be able to get one. It may not be the one they want but beggers can't be choosers. You get a job, then work to find a job you want.

To be perfectly honest I don't see where you have any bargaining chips with your wife at all, she works, she put you through school, she's been there for 5 years for you and you're a dead beat unwilling to take a job and help with the family finances.

You may not like what I have to say, but it is accurate and before you go ahead and place blame, you better recognize that this is the USA, you are the male and she is the female, you have kids, she works and you don't. If you go to a divorce, she will get the kids and if she's got any kind of an attourney at all, she will get everything and you won't get shit including alimony. No matter what, she will have a better attourney than you do because she can afford one.

Seems to me your biggest problem is that you've learned to use excuses. Well guess what, in the real world no one cares. No one cares what you have to go through, no one cares how diffucult it is, at the end of the day it is either "did" or "didn't" no one gives a damn about "try". There's an old saying "don't tell me how rough the waters are, just get the ship to the shore." IE - results are what counts. I know we joke around here a lot and I know we talk about how little we work, but if any of us did not fulfill the requirements of our jobs we would all be fired. Guess what, I may try my ass off, but if my kids didn't learn math I'd still be fired and it wouldn't matter how much everyone liked me, how sorry they felt for me or how hard I worked to be successful. Results are all that counts. Matter of fact I was hired to replace a well liked teacher and they hated to get rid of her, but the kids were not prepared leaving her class, proficiency scores were down and they fired her just the same.

I know you say you couldn't have done it the way I did, gee-whiz from way over here that sounds like another excuse.

Bottom line is if your marriage was a priority then you would do what is necessary to save it and apparently it's just not that important to you and she's done listening to your excuses. From what you've said basically she just wants you to get a job...any job...and you "can't" because you won't be able to get the certifications you need for a job you don't even have yet...

[jimmalenko]

I hate to be a grandstander, but .... northie's right IMO

Blaming one's misfortunes on a condition such as yours may validate things to you, but in the long run it's nothing but an excuse IMO. You've been dealt that hand from day 1, so there's not much point in blaming it - you need to accept it and move on IMO.

[bazooka]

I hate to be a grandstander, but .... northie's right IMO

Blaming one's misfortunes on a condition such as yours may validate things to you, but in the long run it's nothing but an excuse IMO. You've been dealt that hand from day 1, so there's not much point in blaming it - you need to accept it and move on IMO.

Whatever

It is not an excuse.

@NC

I meant no offense. I was just saying it would not work. I am trying to get a job but Mcdonalds will not pay for a 35,000 loan.

[ViRaL1]

Baby steps.

If you decided to make McD's your goal, no doubt you'd still be screwed and I'm sure the little lady wouldn't let you off the hook. McDonald's is just one example. The job market isn't what it once was, but anything is probably better than nothing at all to someone who's been footing the bill for the last 5 years. I have to agree with NC that no judge, no court is really going to care about your deficiency when she files for divorce. Not only that, depending on the state you're in and the judge, you may be FORCED to take some job, more than likely one you don't want to do. ANY job is just a step big picture. ANY job is at least a show of good faith. ANY job shows that you're not content to let your wife take care of you and your family. Don't be surprised if she starts to question your manhood.

[thecoalman]

I am trying to get a job but Mcdonalds will not pay for a 35,000 loan.

I think you missed the point of a job. You get a job, any job. Look for better job....repeat

[bazooka]

Whatever

If you do not like it, then leave this thread alone.

I had a job but my hours were constantly being cut.

[northcat_8]

I hate to be a grandstander, but .... northie's right IMO

Blaming one's misfortunes on a condition such as yours may validate things to you, but in the long run it's nothing but an excuse IMO. You've been dealt that hand from day 1, so there's not much point in blaming it - you need to accept it and move on IMO.

Whatever

It is not an excuse.

@NC

I meant no offense. I was just saying it would not work. I am trying to get a job but Mcdonalds will not pay for a 35,000 loan.

Well how well is unemployed paying for a $35,000 loan?

And Jimmy's right, he's saying you've been dealing with this problem your whole life, accept it, figure out how to work with it and move on.

I didn't take any offense, like I said, what you do is on you, and whatever you do, will not affect my life what so ever. But you have to know that your wife is in 100% power, you go to a divorce and you will lose. I think it best if surpass the ass kissing and go straight to the spit shinning

The only thing that spoke to me about your last post was the fact that you focused on the one part of it that was the most irrelevant. Who cares if you could or couldn't do it the way I did. That part of your life is over, you didn't...it's what are you doing now that she's fed up with.

[Guest]

I am trying to get a job but Mcdonalds will not pay for a 35,000 loan.

I think you missed the point of a job. You get a job, any job. Look for better job....repeat

I have just been skimming this one,but I think effort (ie McD's)would go a long way.I have been in the funk before and would not get a slave job.However,I was alone and was just supporting myself.I did clean chimneys for a fall.Demeening being a grad from a good university.Built a 100k/year painting business and left it for med school and 200K in loans.If you want to save your marriage,you ave to get a job,any job.

[Ripper2860]

Been there and struggled with this delimna while unemployed for 1 yr. While any job would be nice -- the job has to at least cover the cost of daycare. If you can't net at least $700.00/mo. it's just better to stay home w/ the kid and keep looking for a suitable job.

[Grimey]

I know i don't really know much about marriage, as i'm still in college, but IMO, marriage isn't about money. marriage should be about love. Think about her, your life together, think about everything but the financial aspects and ask yourself if you still love her. if you do, then you should tell her that. I agree with northcat about the man supporting the woman, i think women need that support to feel good about themselves. If it were me, i'd get the first job i could get, even mcdonalds if I had to, to show her that i do care about her and what she thinks, and then keep looking for a better job.

[bigmicka]

offline,

sex therapists are not going to help in a situation like VTM and i are talking about.

they mainly look at issues in men like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and sex addiction. with women no orgasms, lack of lubrication and sexual desire. couples who are having issues with some of the above or with problems of another nature surrounding the sex act.

sex therapists will sometimes recommend people see sex surrogates (glorified prostitute), some sex therapists though see the risk for exposure to possible STD's as too high.

sex therapists are not going to help someone who has intimacy issues or other problems associated with them being contiually single. they will recomend you go and see a a psychologist or psychiatrist.

im speaking from my experience, i spent so much time on the couch trying to work out what was wrong with me that i just ended up being further confused. all i needed was some good experience, since the change of direction i have found that i am more accepting of my body and am finding that its not that big a deal to women, which has lead to me being more confident around them with me openly flirting and them reciprocating.

im not saying this will work for everyone, but can it hurt?

sorry for the thread jack bazooka, im seeing any man asking for advice or sympathy from other men just turns into a male help thread from one end of the spectrum to the other.

maybe we need a http://www.malehelp.com forum to cover issues like relationships, dating, marriage, divorce, child support.

mic

[Grimey]

I think we need Babyboo or Shadowmistress to weigh in on this.

[AlecWest]

While I respect your opinion, I regret to inform you that your method would not work with me. I am not looking for your sympathy, but I have a medical condition that you do not believe in. That is Attention Defecit Disorder. I have had it all my life.

It is possible that your wife doesn't believe in it either (A.D.D.) and expects you to just "get over it" (which is no different than yelling "Shake a leg, will ya?" to a spastic caught in a turnstile). But while money seems the root of the problem, it's probably "expectations." She expects something from you as a husband ... you expect something from her as a wife ... and the two expectations don't mesh.

Again, I suggest marriage counseling (if she's willing and you're willing). It might not help anything. Then again, a neutral professional might see dynamics at work on both sides that might not be apparent to either of you. God only knows it was true in my case. And, I'm not talking about a long, drawn out, or expensive set of therapy sessions, either. Find a counselor who specializes in SBT (Solutions Oriented Brief Therapy). Six visits is pretty much all it takes to determine whether your marriage CAN or SHOULD be saved. In my case, it only took five (since my ex refused to attend the sixth session). I don't blame her. The counselor (a woman) was "onto" her manipulative behavior, confronted her with it point-blank, and my ex didn't like that. The sixth session consisted of me, one-on-one with the counselor ... who "counseled" me to seek a divorce since my ex was not going to change her behavior. I followed her advice ... and credit her with saving my sanity (and the remainder of my life).

P.S. BTW, the counselor may be aware of job programs available to assist people suffering with A.D.D. to re-enter the workforce, possibly with full or partial child-care assistance. But, you'll never know if you don't make the call.

[AlecWest]

One more brief P.S. The counselor may also know about programs set up under section 504 of the 1973 Rehabilitation Act and 1990 Americans with Disabilities Act that could provide "accommodations" in regards to the educational loans you need to repay. Such accommodations may enable you to get part or all of your loan "forgiven" ... or enable you to set up a long-term repayment schedule with part or all of the interest forgiven. But again, there's only one way to find out. Make the call.

[bazooka]

I think it is going to work out.

[bigmicka]

thats great to hear Bazooka.

mic

[DereX888]

Bazooka, don't be a hypocrite. Youre a MAN, head of the family. You must provide at least basics for your family, since you decided some time ago to have one. Absolutely no excuses will justify not providing for them, unless youre dying. I hope you understand that?
You may have ADD, but as you said - you had it since long ago. I dont want to be cruel, but I hope it wasn't ADD's influence that pushed you to get married and then you awaken and realised it was a mistake or something...
But even if you werent serious about having a family, and it "happened" somehow, anyhow (lets not get into it) then anyway: why did you decided to have a child (or children) at all?
I understand the need for education (in order to get a better job in the future). But youre not a teenager to think that way! You supposed to look after your family's needs first, and when the family's basics (at least) are secured - then, and only then, you can pursue your education. Not the opposite way. I really dont understand you at all.
Although Im a very anti-feminist and anti-PC, you won't get my sympathy in your case. From what you wrote so far I think youre a selfish, egotistic , me-first kind of guy.
As someone wrote you earlier - if Mexicans can illegally get into your country and find a job to provide for their families - SO CAN YOU.
There are no excuses.
In your spoiled by good times mind you probably just think that you are better than them Mex', thus you won't go even consider going to work for less than [enter here you expected minimum $ wage]. You probably believe that such situation is right, because youre a spoiled white American. Let the immigrants do the low pay hard work, aint it right?
The truth is, you rather do nothing and count on your wife to support you, than finding a job for less than your pride can swallow. Look in the mirror and then try to deny it.
I'm sorry if I hurt your feeling, but I have no sympathy for you.


EDIT
Im glad to hear it worked out, for your child(ren) sake.
But Im very disappointed in you (I know you dont give a shit about my opinion, but think of it this way - if a total stranger is, then what your wife must think about it...)

[Ripper2860]

I think it is going to work out.

I hope that's true and it's not just a "tell them what it takes to shut them up".

Good Luck to ya Bazooka. It seems like it's been a tough year on the job front for you, and the stress brought about due to financial concerns can wreak havoc on an otherwise happy family.

I hope all goes well !!