Wacky warning lables

[Guest]

DETROIT - The sign on the toilet brush says it best: "Do not use for personal hygiene."



That admonition was the winner of an anti-lawsuit group's contest for the wackiest consumer warning label of the year.


The sponsor, Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, says the goal is "to reveal how lawsuits, and concern about lawsuits, have created a need for common sense warnings on products."


The $500 first prize went to Ed Gyetvai, of Oldcastle, Ontario, who submitted the toilet-brush label. A $250 second prize went to Matt Johnson, of Naperville, Ill., for a label on a children's scooter that said, "This product moves when used."


A $100 third prize went to Ann Marie Taylor, of Camden, S.C., who submitted a warning from a digital thermometer that said, "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."


This year's contest coincides with a drive by President Bush (news - web sites) and congressional Republicans to put caps and other limits on jury awards in liability cases.


"Warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," said group President Robert Dorigo Jones. "From the moment we raise our head in the morning off pillows that bear those famous Do Not Remove warnings, to when we drop back in bed at night, we are overwhelmed with warnings."


The leader of a group that opposes the campaign to limit lawsuits admits that while some warning labels may seem stupid, even dumb warnings can do good.


"There are many cases of warning labels saving lives," said Joanne Doroshow, executive director of the Center for Justice and Democracy in New York. "It's much better to be very cautious ... than to be afraid of being made fun of by a tort reform group."


The Wacky Warning Label Contest is in its eighth year.

[Goober57]

DETROIT - The sign on the toilet brush says it best: "Do not use for personal hygiene."

But that's the only thing that get's into all of the nooks and crannies! :P

[Cobra]

On the back of bags of Sainsbury's peanuts, they have the allergy warning "Contains nuts". Really?!

[Goober57]

All of the labeling nonsense is necessary because of
the lawsuits that people keep filing........and winning.

[Doramius]

Snapple's elements drinks are sometimes in the aluminum bottles now. On the side of the bottle there's a picture with a circle and slash line showing not to place your tongue on a cold bottle. It looks more like "don't light firecrackers in your mouth". but I'm sure there's a warning label for that too. I did notice on fireworks, there's a message that says "light very tip of fuse, turn, and run away quickly." I want to get an airplane and in big letters on the bottom, "Caution: This object flies."

[Conquest10]

"Remove child before folding"

This is on a baby stroller.

[Doramius]

"Do not use as a bridge." Found on some hammocks.

[Guest]

Do not use if used-Trojan/Tampax

[Doramius]

"Do not use if seal is broken." Message on packages of certain brands of steel wool and sink sponges.

[redwudz]

"Caution-Sharp edges" On a package of razor blades.

[Doramius]

"surface gets hot" found on glass top stoves.

[Heywould3]

"Slippery when wet" found here..

[badger_fruit]

"Slippery when wet" found here..

+1 ROFL

[Tommyknocker]

In one of technical manuals on climbing into the cockpit: "Step one. Ensure canopy is open."

[thecoalman]

Propane Tank: "Do Not Incinerate"

[thecoalman]

Back of Ticketmaster paper ticket: "Do Not Expose to Extreme Heat"

[Guest]

Propane Tank: "Do Not Incinerate"

What are every redneck's last words? Watch this.

[Tommyknocker]

I thought they would be "Nobody tells me what to do!"

[thecoalman]

Propane Tank: "Do Not Incinerate"

What are every redneck's last words? Watch this.

I've had a few and seen a few of them moments......

[adamthole]

Back of Ticketmaster paper ticket: "Do Not Expose to Extreme Heat"

Actually, I think that is because they are printetd on thermal paper. If you get it too hot, the whole ticket could turn black...and you would be without a ticket.

[SquirrelDip]

Propane Tank: "Do Not Incinerate"

What are every redneck's last words? Watch this.

I've had a few and seen a few of them moments......

Or his last words while driving down the highway: "Hold my beer, I want to try something..."

[thecoalman]

Back of Ticketmaster paper ticket: "Do Not Expose to Extreme Heat"

Actually, I think that is because they are printetd on thermal paper. If you get it too hot, the whole ticket could turn black...and you would be without a ticket.

Well the next time I'm in an inferno and I have a ticket in my pocket I'll be sure to remember that.

[Tommyknocker]

Actually extreme heat would refer to the heat on a car's dashboard generated by sunshine. Airline tickets also do this. When they give us tickets to travel, they warn us about this, as when your ticket does turn black, and no airline will take it, you have to pay for the ticket again yourself, and the government will not reimburse you, as there is no proof that this was the ticket they cut for you.

[Tool Man]

I bought a pot of creamed rice that had "Warning: After heating, contents will be hot" printed on it.

And I've also seen "Warning: Do not turn upside down". Printed on the BOTTOM!

[Doramius]

I bought a pot of creamed rice that had "Warning: After heating, contents will be hot" printed on it.

And I've also seen "Warning: Do not turn upside down". Printed on the BOTTOM!

I've seen that on packages. What's the point of putting a message like that on the bottom?

[Tommyknocker]

Well, the classic insult back in the day was "You're so stupid, you can't poor piss out of a boot with directions on the bottom!"

[themichael]

on a box of knives from china:

Keep out of children.

[Faustus]

on a box of knives from china:

Keep out of children.

ah yes... engrish.com

[ViRaL1]

Screw the warning labels. Why fight natural selection?

[hudsonf]

I don't know if this is true or a Urban Legend but it gives you something to think about.

When you've had an absolute "I hate my job" day, try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take out the material that comes with the thermometer and read it. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

"Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested"

Now close your eyes and repeat out loud five times: "I am so glad I do not work for quality control at the Johnson and Johnson Company".

Have a nice day everyone and remember, there is always someone with a worse job than yours.