Shift Change: A Short Story -- Part VI

[Tommyknocker]

"So what you think, Cap?" Lord Smurf said, watching Tommyknocker gleefully clean up the Johnnywoo/pastrami mess. He laughed each time he peeled a piece of the clone off the wall, and shooting it towards his ever-present wheelbarrow, making a basket each time.

"When you 'drain' you reign!" TK said, as the head of Johnnywoo landed in the wheelbarrow.

"What do you mean?" Cap answered.

"I got a real bad feeling about this, Partner."

"I don't get you. We shut him down, didn't we?"

"That's what I mean. Why would anyone go through all the trouble of making one of these things just to get it killed?"

"Maybe it was to make sure we did it while the injunction was in force."

"So we would go to jail for doing our job? That would be diabolical."

"Maybe so."

"Still once we explained we didn't know, we'd get sprung with a slap on the wrist."

"Good point. I have an idea. Dispatch, Cap."

"Go ahead."

"Any more hits on that ISP address?"

"Nope, sorry."

"Thanks."

"Wait. Dispatch, Lord Smurf."

"Go ahead, I'm still here."

"Can you cross check all ISPs against different names."

"No problem, it's a spreadsheet file. Hang on for five seconds."

"Standing by." They said in unison.

"Oh crap! Got four hits, guys. Repeat four hits! Lloyder, Dory, Greene, and Mortimer. Number One's in D to D. The rest in Media. Good hunting, guys. Dispatch out."

They shot down to Media, red cards held behind their ears looking for the targets. They suddenly heard footsteps from behind. They felt when they turned they would see them running away, were shocked to see them charging, less than five feet away. They released the death cards at the same moment. both clones screamed their last as one's head rolled clean, and other's torso exploded.

"Dispatch, Cap. Give me a twenty on the last clone down here."

"He's right there, Prez, practically on top of you!"

"No, he's not!" Cap protested.

"Yes I am." the clone said, and reached from behind a column, grabbed Cap and put him in a death grip, a usually fatal bear hug.

"Smurf! Smurf!" Cap yelled, feeling the air being crushed out of him.

"I can't shoot! If I do, I'll kill you too." He yelled, his card held behind his ear. He knew red card cuts through flesh like a knife through butter, and would kill them both from the angle he had to shoot from.

"He's going...to...k-kill...me if ...you don't..." Capmaster's breath was starting to wheeze and his bones began to crack in protest.

Finally, Smurf decided how to act. He dropped the card, charged the clone, got behind him and grabbed his head, turning with all his might. Its neck made a sound like tree branch cracking. The clone's voice made a gurgling sound and his arms went limp. He slumped to the floor, Capmaster rolled free, gasping.

He grabbed Da Prez, propped him up in the corner, and hit the transmit button on his radio. "Dispatch, Lord Smurf."

"Go ahead, Smurf."

"Three clones down, and Capmaster down, too. He'll be okay, but not right now. Gonna need an update on clone four. You copy?"

"Dispatch copies all. Update coming. Clone for has left D to D. Tracking. Oh sh*t, Smurf, he's coming after you! Media North Entrance. About ten feet from you!"

Smurf grabbed another card and spun around towards the North Entrance. At first he thought he was looking at a reflection of himself with his card, until he realized the clone had picked up the red card he had dropped and was about to throw it at him.

"Well, well." Smurf said, slowly coming up out of his kill stance. "'The Little Xerox that Could.' 'I think I can, I think I can.'" He knew he had to keep talking, to make sure the clone did not see him taking his own red card, and instead of holding it between his thumb and forefinger, moved it to the palm of his hand, making it take the form of a "U".

"We both die today, Little Boy Blue." The clone laughed and threw the red card with all his might. Smurf quickly moved his card in from of him, the open end of the "U" he had just made pointing toward the incoming card. The clone's red card struck one edge of Smurf's card, followed the shape of the "U" and shot back towards the clone. The clones eyes widened in pure surprise, right before his own card sliced right through them, cleaving his brain in half. He fell backward, and the card stuck in the door behind him. "Better check your math, Xerox." Smurf said, nonchalantly.

"Where'd you learn to do that?" Cap wheezed.

"Bobsledding." Smurf laughed.

"Smurf, Dispatch."

"Go ahead."

"Emergency. Got a 936 in Baldric's office. You're the only left on duty. Get there fast!"

He looked at Capmaster. "What the heck's a 936?"

"Kidnapping. Go! Go!"

"I'm sorry Miss Goodbody, but it's against company policy to advertise pornographic sites"

"My advisors told me you would react to my proposal or should I say 'proposition' as you have. So I am in a position to offer further incentive." The tall, beautiful blond smiled wryly at Baldric. She turned slowly in her chair, raised her short skirt even higher and reached into her purse.

"I really don't think you understand, Miss Goodbody. I won't put my personal desires above the forum members. They know my policies and they respect them. Some even say they remain members because of..." He stopped short as found himself staring down the barrel of a pistol. "What are you doing with a gun?"

"This is a kidnapping, Baldric."

"I see. There's one thing you should know about my secretary, Miss Goodbody."

"What's that?"

"She likes to eavesdrop on my meetings. What you got, Ilsa?" He spoke into the speaker phone.

"Called it in as a 936, Boss. Cap and Lord Smurf should be here in a moment. That skank's goin' down like a cheap hooker's panties."
The blond cracked the gun across Baldric's head, knocking him unconscious.

Ilsa looked up from her speaker phone and saw a huge fat man. She heard his fist whistling threw the air. She pushed herself away from the desk, barely missing the huge hand. She turned her desk over towards him, and it crashed on his feet as he screamed in agony. She started to rise from her chair, punching him in the groin, and he started to bend over in pain. She knew she was up high enough now. She whirled a devastating wheel kick, sending him flying behind the reception area's couch. Two more hands grabbed her and flung her across the office and she hit the wall, losing consciousness.

Smurf burst into the reception area found a big mess. Ilsa was sitting up against wall, shaking her head. She looked up at Smurf, recognized him and screamed, "It's the Boss! They got the Boss!"

He ran into Baldric's office and ran out again. "He's gone. Can you tell me anything?"

"Not much. Big blond said she wanted to advertise on the site, but she just wanted to snatch him." She said, as he helped her up to a nearby sofa. As he laid her down, he heard a low groan come from beside it. "He's one of them."

"This is your handiwork?" Smurf asked, grabbing the huge man by the collar.

"Dad said I couldn't work in the big city unless I had a black belt in karate. Good girls listen to their dads."

"And bad asses, too, apparently." He said, slapping the huge man around. "Tell me who sent you, or we both finish what she started."

"Alright! Alright!" He screamed in submission. "It was Defense!"
*******************************
To be continued.

[redwudz]

Another masterpiece. I can't wait for part VII.

[Tommyknocker]

Thanks!

[lordsmurf]

Oh man.... I love cliffhangers.

[BJ_M]

ok - who leaked the moderators private forum posts to TK ?

[lordsmurf]

ok - who leaked the moderators private forum posts to TK ?

<cough,cough>cap<cough,cough> :P

Of course, he may not have been alone.

It was in the plans all along.
TK is the unofficial scribe & janitor, after all.

(Plus all the public bans say it, anyway )

[Capmaster]

I won't comment. TK put a lot of work into it and I'd hate to sound ungrateful. He is our cleanup guy, after all.

So I'll hold my comments.

[Cobra]

TK isn't just the "cleanup guy". Oh, no. He's our best author, too.

Good job, TK. I'm looking forward to finding out what happens to the Boss.

[yoda313]

Hello,

BRAVO!!!! MORE MORE MORE!!!!

Much better than the last series...

Is the new vixen "shadowmistress"???? I'll take bets after Christmas is over (wouldn't want to bet on a such a noble holiday ).

Kevin

[bazooka]

Tk has edged out Indo in creativity.

Excellent