Wedding Objections

[northcat_8]

The only secret for men trying to staying married is to learn NOT to talk.

Young couples are very interactive, both members participate in conversation, etc, etc.

30-40 year old couples, you see the woman talking and the man nodding.

elder couples, you see the woman talking and the man staring at the floor not saying a word.

That's it, just learn to NOT talk.

Northcat Marriage Counseling Services
Dayton, Ohio

[bugster]

I think if you've had sex with either the bride or the groom (but not both) within 72 hours before the wedding, you're obligated to object.

But if it was both (seperatley or together!) then its OK I assume :P

[Capmaster]

The only secret for men trying to staying married is to learn NOT to talk.

Young couples are very interactive, both members participate in conversation, etc, etc.

30-40 year old couples, you see the woman talking and the man nodding.

elder couples, you see the woman talking and the man staring at the floor not saying a word.

That's it, just learn to NOT talk.

Northcat Marriage Counseling Services
Dayton, Ohio

It's because when we're young we still think we can win an argument. After all ...mom listened to us, right?

At 30 to 40, we see the hopelessness, and nod occasionally, still waiting for that opening to interject that one sage observation that will make a concrete case. But we see the trend ...and the nodding is an affirmation of "yes, I'm hopelessly pussy-whipped ....but I just hope my children still respect me"

At 50 and beyond, we have no hope or reason to live anymore. We realize with stark clarity that men eventually end up in servitude ....and by the time we're old enough to recognize just how far down the food chain we've dropped, we're too old ...and we have lost the will to live. But by then we have the means to pursue our own hobbies and no longer care if the little woman approves ....she's not going to cut loose her meal-ticket, after all. Our children just smirk when we say something with "her" in the same room ...knowing that it will be quickly dissected and discarded with the skill and speed of a veteran surgeon. We have no real chance. All we can do is look down at the floor and mourn the loss of our free will ...and hope that maybe the floor will open up and give us the merciful end that we deserve.

Marriage anyone?

[northcat_8]

At 50 and beyond, we have no hope or reason to live anymore.

50...."we"

I didn't know you were THAT old....

so tell us Capmaster...what was the world like before the advent of dirt?

[Capmaster]

At 50 and beyond, we have no hope or reason to live anymore.

50...."we"

I didn't know you were THAT old....

so tell us Capmaster...what was the world like before the advent of dirt?

I turned 50 last Friday

Funny thing is, I don't "feel" any older. But the children laugh .....

The place was cleaner before dirt ...

[northcat_8]

50 DAMN

That's half a century! Let's see, what was I doing 50 years ago....oh yea, that's right, I wasn't even thought of yet...

Make sure you take your geritol.

[Capmaster]

50 DAMN

That's half a century! Let's see, what was I doing 50 years ago....oh yea, that's right, I wasn't even thought of yet...

Make sure you take your geritol.

When I told Flan how old I really was, and that the pic of me with the sunglasses was taken in 1980, he informed me that a picture of him from 1980 would be of a blank space where the hard-on hasn't yet happened

[Faustus]

After all ...mom listened to us, right?

Wait your mom listened to you?

[Capmaster]

After all ...mom listened to us, right?

Wait your mom listened to you?

I had an understanding mom It was dad that was the challenge

[northcat_8]

Yea, me too. Mom always listened...dad always knew I was full of shit.

[Capmaster]

Yea, me too. Mom always listened...dad always knew I was full of shit.

Exactly

[Rookie64]

50 DAMN

That's half a century! Let's see, what was I doing 50 years ago....oh yea, that's right, I wasn't even thought of yet...

Make sure you take your geritol.

Cap is same age as John Travolta 8)

[shoozleboy]

At 50 and beyond, we have no hope or reason to live anymore.

50...."we"

I didn't know you were THAT old....

so tell us Capmaster...what was the world like before the advent of dirt?

I turned 50 last Friday

Funny thing is, I don't "feel" any older. But the children laugh .....

The place was cleaner before dirt ...

Was that Friday the 19th or the 12th? Just Curious....

(edit - never mind Cap, I just read the other posts... Happy belated Bday! - you old fart! )

[Capmaster]

At 50 and beyond, we have no hope or reason to live anymore.

50...."we"

I didn't know you were THAT old....

so tell us Capmaster...what was the world like before the advent of dirt?

I turned 50 last Friday

Funny thing is, I don't "feel" any older. But the children laugh .....

The place was cleaner before dirt ...

Was that Friday the 19th or the 12th? Just Curious....

(edit - never mind Cap, I just read the other posts... Happy belated Bday! - you old fart! )

The 19th

Thanks schoozle!

Cap is same age as John Travolta

I don't feel so bad now. Thanks

Wait
Travolta's OLD!!!

[shoozleboy]

Reason I asked was because mine was the 12th and for a brief moment there I thought that we may have share a Bday - of course, mine was my 34th....

(feeling old yet? )

[Capmaster]

Reason I asked was because mine was the 12th and for a brief moment there I thought that we may have share a Bday - of course, mine was my 34th....

(feeling old yet? )

Only when I do heavy work in the yard. Then I feel like hammered shit for 3 days afterward. Other than that, I don't feel any different.

I did notice that my ass dropped down to the back of my knees ...makes running difficult. And my hairline is back to where it was in high school ...but there's no hair meeting the forehead anymore ...just more forehead

The good news: morning wood is still present, and requiring that I either beat it against the wall to get it to go down, or think about tekkieman in that French Maid outfit. Then I'm ready to face the family And I get no complaints from Dolly. So, I may be an old fart, but most of the time I'm wearing a grin

[northcat_8]

Work in the yard????

You guys have grass out there in albaaakerkey?

[Capmaster]

Work in the yard????

You guys have grass out there in albaaakerkey?

Not much. The little patch of bluegrass in the front about drives me to the poorhouse in water bills.

I was referring to moving sandy dirt around. Got pleeeeeeenty of that here

[Tommyknocker]

At 50 and beyond, we have no hope or reason to live anymore.

50...."we"

I didn't know you were THAT old....

so tell us Capmaster...what was the world like before the advent of dirt?

It was wonderful, pure, and simple. Before the Dark Times. Before the Age of North Cat!

[lordsmurf]

The only wedding I ever wanted to object to ended in divorce years later anyway. Luckily, they never had kids.

[pacmania_2001]

Wow Cap, you're older than my parents. :P

[Capmaster]

Wow Cap, you're older than my parents. :P

The only other option wasn't as appealing

[Guest]

My friend got married in 1996 to a girl he had been with for 8 years. I always thought she was kinda vacant. At the wedding reception she confronted me . I had been telling people I didnt think they should get married. Being drunk and not feeling like backing down, I replied it was true. 6 months later he moved to Chicago with his secratary( happily married for 6 years now) and filed for divorce.

[SquirrelDip]

I turned 50 last Friday

Funny thing is, I don't "feel" any older. But the children laugh .....

The place was cleaner before dirt ...

Not all that far behind you Cap - 42 here... My receintly past father had words to live by:

"You're only as old as the woman you feel."

Feeling old??? Find a younger woman...

[Ripper2860]

I believe he may have been referring to "Mr. G".

George Broussard? No way dude, if that was true we still wouldn't have marriage to this day.

No. The BIG ALMIGHTY "G !!

[mrtristan]

Man, Cap makes two that are older than I thought. Actually, I didn't think TommyKnocker was that old, either.

I'm surprised you old guys know how to work a c-o-m-p-u-t-e-r.

[northcat_8]

Computer? Cap refers to it as that "fancy contraption".

Cap is pretty old. I mean shit, he's had his birthday renewed twice.

Not to pile it on Cap...but wasn't 1964 around the time that Nelson Mandella was sentenced to life in prison in South Africa??

But hey guys listen....Cap may fart dust, but he's not dead yet. Let's be nice to him.
(but that would explain why Yoda always has that "powdered" look )
<I'm cracking myself up >

[pacmania_2001]

Not to pile it on Cap...but wasn't 1964 around the time that Nelson Mandella was sentenced to life in prison in South Africa??

Don't you mean 1954? :P

2004 - 50 = 1954

I'd hate to be in your maths class :P

[northcat_8]

Um...yea pac....I never said he was born in 64', I was looking for a historical reference around 54-64, that didn't involve death and war and Mandella was the first fact I ran across. But I guess a 10 year difference was too much of a round number, I can see why you thought that.

I choose Mandella because Cap has seen him not only go to Prison for life...but has also seen him get out

<I didn't want to use JFK or Oswald>

[pacmania_2001]

<Farva voice>

Damn. I thought I had you rookie.

I just lost $1, to myself.

</Farva voice>