OT Presidential SCANDAL!!!!!!!!!!

[northcat_8]

Clicking through the tabloids section of the internet, I ran across this rather disturbing piece. Capmaster say it ain't so






(And for all you illiterate Bastards who have a problem with “Enqueerier”…”queer’ is also a synonym for strange behavior, so get over yourselves. )

[tgpo]

Perhaps I'll be moving up due to this late breaking news

[indolikaa]

I'm not even going to try and distance myself from this scandal...


BUT I WILL COMPLETELY DENY THAT MINT-FLAVORED CONCOCTION WAS THE RESULT OF TREEBEARD AND I STEALING PILLOW MINTS FROM THE MARRIOTT IN ALBUQUERQUE. NO WAY AM I GOING DOWN FOR THAT! YOU CAN ALL KISS MY FAT, WHITE ASS ON THAT ONE!

[offline]

To borrow a line from indolikaa, that is just wrong on so many levels

[DVD_Ripper]

And how do I subscribe to future issues of this most excellent newsletter

[Capmaster]

.....my eyes ...I can't see ..... my stomach ......

Damn you northcat Are you trying to get me fired? OMG .....here it comes again ....

[Ripper2860]

That's pretty FLOCKED up !!!

[Treebeard]

As OT secretary I feel compelled to notify the public of some of the issues at hand.

1. The president is an admitted Sheep Love addict and is currently in a support group
2. The president is under added stress with new duties of moderating unruly citizens
3. The president is still recovering from the near revolution that occured at the implementation of his added duties.
4. The president never 'inhaled'
5. The president claims that dolly loves him and the relationship is acceptable.

Now lets move on to the bigger issues at hand,
What is a Lime Dickey?? There will be an investigative committee formed to research this. If Dr Khan would please lead the investigation and report back we would appreciate it, word on the street is its some sort of mixed drink so it right up your alley.

[DVD_Ripper]

.....my eyes ...I can't see ..... my stomach ......

Damn you northcat Are you trying to get me fired? OMG .....here it comes again ....

What will be funny is one day you'll be shopping with your wife and someone will come up to you and say "Hey, are you guy that always shagging sheep up on videohelp.com" .... Have a digital with you at all times cause were gonna want to see your wifes expression.

[Capmaster]

Thank you Mr. Secretary. You have touched on the main issues that have been influencing my behavior these past several days.

Let me explain:

After Cobra headed back to England Sunday, I felt depressed and hung over. Not the best mindset for making big decisions.

I hopped on a plane with the intention of flying to England to visit not only Cobra, but flaninacupboard, Craig Tucker and Will Hay. Sort of a mini-OT-reunion. I had only packed Dolly, the mint wine coolers from Indo, the Vinyltarian daily prayer on velvet, and the moderator handbook.

Well, I got on the wrong plane and wound up in Paris. Not wanting to soil myself by staying there too long, I stepped lightly through the airport.

Seeing me step lightly ("light in the loafers", so to speak), the French airport authorities immediately identified me as being French. Seeing me wearing my t-shirt that had a picture of Jack Valenti, with the caption "I like young, handicapped boys", the French immediately took me for a traitor and locked me up.

I was finally bailed out a day later (lucky they had a T1 connection in the jail, or I might not have been able to get in a few hours of "moddin") by Paris Hilton, who was in town to shop for a new flannel shirt.

I immediately went and got drunk. Hard to do in Paris where there is nothing to drink except wine. I remembered that Dr. Khan had sent me some mint wine coolers, so I sat in my hotel room and got shit-faced. From there, it was just a matter of blowing up Dolly. Since I was in Paris, I just held it out the window .. ...

The rest is a blur.

Have some understanding that these are tough times for your President. I have to walk the fine line between being a believable, respectable moderator, and maintaining my status as OT post whore President. Not an easy task

(DVD_Ripper - no kidding )

[flaninacupboard]

WTF?! he's goddam lying!! those are English coppers! Cap, did you come all the way over here to party with Cobra, Will and Craig, AND ******* BLOW ME OFF?!?!

Shit, i thought you were evil before, but that's just.......... so lame. I hate you.

[Doramius]

He may have been on an international summit meeting, but was available outside his regular STAFF. Dolly is with him always, and it is well known to many people. Being part of his enforcement team, i could not allow him to associate with certain contacts and was also forced to alter his schedule due to possible popparazzi and life endangerment situations. I can assure you, Capmaster did not BLOW anyone off. These statements are at an end and Capmaster will return to his hotel room to post whore and moderate the forums for the next 48 hours until we can reschedule events for his safety.

[Capmaster]

WTF?! he's goddam lying!! those are English coppers! Cap, did you come all the way over here to party with Cobra, Will and Craig, AND ******* BLOW ME OFF?!?!

Shit, i thought you were evil before, but that's just.......... so lame. I hate you.

I hopped on a plane with the intention of flying to England to visit not only Cobra, but flaninacupboard, Craig Tucker and Will Hay.

WTF? I didn't party with anyone except Dolly. Read the story. I never made it to England. Do you think I'd go to Paris on purpose?

[indolikaa]

Now lets move on to the bigger issues at hand,
What is a Lime Dickey?? There will be an investigative committee formed to research this. If Dr Khan would please lead the investigation and report back we would appreciate it, word on the street is its some sort of mixed drink so it right up your alley.

Mixed drink?!

Well **** me. I thought it was a colloquial reference to a gangrenous penis!

The term 'lime dickey' does not return any search results. However, drawing on my vast wealth of the alcoholic world, I believe the term you are referring to is a Lime Ricky which is as follows...

* Add the juice and zest of one lime with 1/2 cup sugar to blender and blend on high until foaming,
* Strain concentrate through fine mesh bar,
* Fill tall cocktail glasses with crushed ice,
* Add about one ounce of concentrate to glass,
* Mix 1½ ounces of Classick The Original American Bierschnaps,
* Top-off glass with Club Soda and enjoy!

[flaninacupboard]

WTF?! he's goddam lying!! those are English coppers! Cap, did you come all the way over here to party with Cobra, Will and Craig, AND ******* BLOW ME OFF?!?!

Shit, i thought you were evil before, but that's just.......... so lame. I hate you.

I hopped on a plane with the intention of flying to England to visit not only Cobra, but flaninacupboard, Craig Tucker and Will Hay.

WTF? I didn't party with anyone except Dolly. Read the story. I never made it to England. Do you think I'd go to Paris on purpose?

Digging yourself ever deeper, shitwad. LOOK AT THE ******* PICTURES! THE POLICEMEN ARE -ENGLISH-!!

[Capmaster]

WTF?! he's goddam lying!! those are English coppers! Cap, did you come all the way over here to party with Cobra, Will and Craig, AND ******* BLOW ME OFF?!?!

Shit, i thought you were evil before, but that's just.......... so lame. I hate you.

I hopped on a plane with the intention of flying to England to visit not only Cobra, but flaninacupboard, Craig Tucker and Will Hay.

WTF? I didn't party with anyone except Dolly. Read the story. I never made it to England. Do you think I'd go to Paris on purpose?

Digging yourself ever deeper, shitwad. LOOK AT THE ******* PICTURES! THE POLICEMEN ARE -ENGLISH-!!

I saw the pictures, butt-plug. The story was out of Paris, not England. The French cops were disguised as English because ...who would pay any attention to a French cop?

[indolikaa]

I saw the pictures, butt-plug. The story was out of Paris, not England. The French cops were disguised as English because ...who would pay any attention to a French cop?

Good point. I wouldn't.

[Treebeard]

As zzyzzx would say "I hates the French"

[Doramius]

It was a Sting that backfired and the media is trying to hype it up. They hired a lot of US reporters for this one. They even borrowed a few journalists from the national Star and the Enquirer. Nobody believes what they say, but it's fun reading. My people were watching him while his STAFF was watching Dolly. If there was anyone he could have BLOWN, it was the maid, once we realized it was Tekkieman we had him removed and given a full body cavity search. All we found was the french maid outfit, a purse of cosmetics, and mild prescription drugs tied inside a rubber glove we had pulled from his cavity. His comment was he had no spare pockets on his maid uniform. From our search, we found this to be true. The cosmetics were in a bag hanging from a lower appendage.