Beavereater or ChrisX --- Best Avatar

[northcat_8]

For the steady dating type or the marrying type,

Alright that does it.....I'll write it.

G**damn Doramius "steady dating type or marrying type" who are you trying to bullshit? There is only one type..the "I would like to f**k type".

If you "F" her only once = one night stand
If you "F" her 2 or more times = dating her
If you "F" her for more than 3 months = steady dating
If you "F" her for more than 6 months = marriage is in the works

We've seen your wife...lie to someone else, she started out as some chick your were trying to "F" and ....yes she did (if you lie may your penis fall off)....now you just got lucky and your personalities work together. If they had not worked together then there would be some other Mrs. Doramius that started out as some chick you were trying to "F".

If you are disturbed by this reality then just look at your parents...they stood in your shoes and had the same thoughts you have had about your wife when you were just starting out.

[flaninacupboard]

For the steady dating type or the marrying type,

Alright that does it.....I'll write it.

G**damn Doramius "steady dating type or marrying type" who are you trying to bullshit? There is only one type..the "I would like to f**k type".

If you "F" her only once = one night stand
If you "F" her 2 or more times = dating her
If you "F" her for more than 3 months = steady dating
If you "F" her for more than 6 months = marriage is in the works

We've seen your wife...lie to someone else, she started out as some chick your were trying to "F" and ....yes she did (if you lie may your penis fall off)....now you just got lucky and your personalities work together. If they had not worked together then there would be some other Mrs. Doramius that started out as some chick you were trying to "F".

If you are disturbed by this reality then just look at your parents...they stood in your shoes and had the same thoughts you have had about your wife when you were just starting out.

Then i must be messed up. i like being friends with females, and rarely fancy anyone. i can look at a girl and think "she is physically attractive" but if i can't talk with her it ends there. i more often chat with girls, find one i like chatting to a lot and then once i'm fairly sure she likes me try instigating something.

perhaps i should be a little more reckless...

[Capmaster]

i like being friends with females, and rarely fancy anyone.

I think I'd be a bit nervous with you in the same shower at the health club, flan, old buddy old pal
.
.
.
.J/K

[Doramius]

I met my wife through friends and we actually never even thought of dating until several months after we would hang out together with friends. I was banging some of her friends at the time (which she knew of as we weren't with each other at the time and she and her friends would always talk), but we weren't even a thing at the time. Later, one of her friends, the girl I was dating at the time, decided to take a job in Korea to teach english. We weren't a major couple and said our goodbyes and I started dating my wife because we always got along very well. I didn't boff her until that first date when we had already known and gotten along with each other for quite a while. After 2 years of sacking with each other, we hitched. I never once slept with anyone else since the first day we dated. I know she hasn't been with anyone else either. Let me tell you I've given her a fair share of pearl necklaces.

[flaninacupboard]

i like being friends with females, and rarely fancy anyone.

I think I'd be a bit nervous with you in the same shower at the health club, flan, old buddy old pal
.
.
.
.J/K

Heh, i was thinking of putting "messed up/gay"
It is a bit weird though, i don't look at someone and hear sappy music and go all gooey eyed, nor do i look at them and see flashes of hardcore pornography. they just sort of show up more often till one of us tries to kiss the other one and you go "oh.... i see." But at the same time i obviously want to bang them, but..... meh. sounds like my parents taught me to not treat women as objects or something.......

[Capmaster]

nor do i look at them and see flashes of hardcore pornography.

That's the first thing I see

Let me tell you I've given her a fair share of pearl necklaces.

A little too much information there ..

[Doramius]

Heh, i was thinking of putting "messed up/gay"
It is a bit weird though, i don't look at someone and hear sappy music and go all gooey eyed, nor do i look at them and see flashes of hardcore pornography. they just sort of show up more often till one of us tries to kiss the other one and you go "oh.... i see." But at the same time i obviously want to bang them, but..... meh. sounds like my parents taught me to not treat women as objects or something.......

Don't you just hate that? Damn good for nothing parents trying instill morals into our impressionable young minds. Good thing my dad had a dirty enough mind it traveled gentically and I can still undress women in my mind and tell a woman's bra size just from one quick view.

[flaninacupboard]

Heh, i was thinking of putting "messed up/gay"
It is a bit weird though, i don't look at someone and hear sappy music and go all gooey eyed, nor do i look at them and see flashes of hardcore pornography. they just sort of show up more often till one of us tries to kiss the other one and you go "oh.... i see." But at the same time i obviously want to bang them, but..... meh. sounds like my parents taught me to not treat women as objects or something.......

Don't you just hate that? Damn good for nothing parents trying instill morals into our impressionable young minds. Good thing my dad had a dirty enough mind it traveled gentically and I can still undress women in my mind and tell a woman's bra size just from one quick view.

Yeah, the programming was screwed the day i discovered a video tape vaguely labelled "P" in my dads sock drawer!

[Capmaster]

I grew up the youngest of three kids with two identical twin sisters 5 years older than me. My mom gave us values and taught us that women are every bit as good as men, and if they didn't believe it they could challenge her to a fencing match. She was a champion fencer, met my dad that way, had a shoebox full of medals and a bunch of trophies, and taught fencing at a women's college for years. I grew up respecting and admiring women.

Just the other day when I was beating my wife for not having my pipe and slippers ready when I got home from work, I remarked how much I admired her even with the black eye

[flaninacupboard]

I grew up the youngest of three kids with two identical twin sisters 5 years older than me. My mom gave us values and taught us that women are every bit as good as men, and if they didn't believe it they could challenge her to a fencing match. She was a champion fencer, met my dad that way, had a shoebox full of medals and a bunch of trophies, and taught fencing at a women's college for years. I grew up respecting and admiring women.

Just the other day when I was beating my wife for not having my pipe and slippers ready when I got home from work, I remarked how much I admired her even with the black eye

Every now and then Cap, you say something with such subtlety and grace i "do an Indo"

And obviously the Porn network is your way of respecting her right to not have sex with you every day :P

[Capmaster]

I grew up the youngest of three kids with two identical twin sisters 5 years older than me. My mom gave us values and taught us that women are every bit as good as men, and if they didn't believe it they could challenge her to a fencing match. She was a champion fencer, met my dad that way, had a shoebox full of medals and a bunch of trophies, and taught fencing at a women's college for years. I grew up respecting and admiring women.

Just the other day when I was beating my wife for not having my pipe and slippers ready when I got home from work, I remarked how much I admired her even with the black eye

Every now and then Cap, you say something with such subtlety and grace i "do an Indo"

And obviously the Porn network is your way of respecting her right to not have sex with you every day :P

Thank you flan. Coming from you that's especially meaningful .....

And for those redwing days or "headache" days, there's always Dolly and midget clown porn. I'm perfectly happy with that arrangement

[Guest]

Freakish. Gross. I would probably break out laughing in her face because judging by the walk, she thinks she's the hottest thing around Too big and susceptible to gravity :P Plus, if she were ever walking into a stiff breeze, her nipples would meet behind her

I would have a hard time resisting the urge to use them as speedbags

The ones the girl has in beavereater's avatar are as big as anyone would need them to be Any more than that and it's too much like putting monster truck tires on a 4-cylinder Toyota pickup truck

I don't know, look good for some beef tunneling

Ahhh yes, the old titty-hump. Safest sex there is

tisk,tisk Cap. That is some mighty good stuff

[Doramius]

My mom said never treat women as sex objects and slaves. That's why I'm glad my wife does everything for me and has a strong sex drive.

[Capmaster]

Freakish. Gross. I would probably break out laughing in her face because judging by the walk, she thinks she's the hottest thing around Too big and susceptible to gravity :P Plus, if she were ever walking into a stiff breeze, her nipples would meet behind her

I would have a hard time resisting the urge to use them as speedbags

The ones the girl has in beavereater's avatar are as big as anyone would need them to be Any more than that and it's too much like putting monster truck tires on a 4-cylinder Toyota pickup truck

I don't know, look good for some beef tunneling

Ahhh yes, the old titty-hump. Safest sex there is

tisk,tisk Cap. That is some mighty good stuff

Near as I can tell, I got turned off on huge bazooms when I was a wet-behind-the-ears kid of 18 and was working this factory job after graduating HS and before I went to college. Needed extra money.

There was this huge, fat, black woman, about 30 years old, who worked there who always comes to mind when I'm watching Married With Children and Al makes a comment like "She was so fat, she had three smaller women orbiting her", or "She's so fat, she looks like she inhaled another woman". Or when he's talking about his mother in law who blocks the sun.

This woman was about 5 feet 6 inches tall, weighed upwards of 400 pounds, had feet that were wider than they were long, and waddled down the aisle. She had a moustache too. She had boobs on her that each were large enough to hide a small child inside. She'd trundle down the factory aisle, and these huge, ponderous breasts would sway side to side, stirring up a breeze. They must have stuck out from her body at least 2 feet. They were the largest mammaries I've ever seen, with or without enhancement, including freak porn.

Now whenever I see a woman with enormous breasts, I can't get the image of that one woman out of my mind, and it's an immediate turn-off. Thinking about her works better than thinking about carburetors or Rosie O'Donnell

Seeing an attractive woman with enormous breasts is more than just not a turn-on ...it's a major turn-off for me. Luckily my wife is a C-cup - nothing wasted and nothing flapping in the breeze

[Guest]

Freakish. Gross. I would probably break out laughing in her face because judging by the walk, she thinks she's the hottest thing around Too big and susceptible to gravity :P Plus, if she were ever walking into a stiff breeze, her nipples would meet behind her

I would have a hard time resisting the urge to use them as speedbags

The ones the girl has in beavereater's avatar are as big as anyone would need them to be Any more than that and it's too much like putting monster truck tires on a 4-cylinder Toyota pickup truck

I don't know, look good for some beef tunneling

I hear u on the big ones that travel to the armpits when laying down. Tho
Ahhh yes, the old titty-hump. Safest sex there is

tisk,tisk Cap. That is some mighty good stuff

Near as I can tell, I got turned off on huge bazooms when I was a wet-behind-the-ears kid of 18 and was working this factory job after graduating HS and before I went to college. Needed extra money.

There was this huge, fat, black woman, about 30 years old, who worked there who always comes to mind when I'm watching Married With Children and Al makes a comment like "She was so fat, she had three smaller women orbiting her", or "She's so fat, she looks like she inhaled another woman". Or when he's talking about his mother in law who blocks the sun.

This woman was about 5 feet 6 inches tall, weighed upwards of 400 pounds, had feet that were wider than they were long, and waddled down the aisle. She had a moustache too. She had boobs on her that each were large enough to hide a small child inside. She'd trundle down the factory aisle, and these huge, ponderous breasts would sway side to side, stirring up a breeze. They must have stuck out from her body at least 2 feet. They were the largest mammaries I've ever seen, with or without enhancement, including freak porn.

Now whenever I see a woman with enormous breasts, I can't get the image of that one woman out of my mind, and it's an immediate turn-off. Thinking about her works better than thinking about carburetors or Rosie O'Donnell

Seeing an attractive woman with enormous breasts is more than just not a turn-on ...it's a major turn-off for me. Luckily my wife is a C-cup - nothing wasted and nothing flapping in the breeze

I hear u on the big ones that travel to the armpits when laying down. Those always look better while restrained. Thats why I like that clip. I have the benefit of implants that I didnt like at first. but I know they will stand at attention for years to come

[Doramius]

The breasts I hate are the mammy-flaps or breasts that hang way down and are about as thick as paper. They look like the breasts of an african tribal woman. They look like the flaps that slow a race car down when they get turned backwards. Remind me of hound dog ears. I also hate women who have breasts that are lumpy like cottage cheese and they have about four or five sets of them. They're usually the same women who are so fat you can't tell wether they have a major camel toe or if it's their a** unless you see which way their head is facing.

[Capmaster]

They look like the breasts of an african tribal woman.

They're like old woman tits - sorta like salamis just dangling there

[Doramius]

They look like the breasts of an african tribal woman.

They're like old woman tits - sorta like salamis just dangling there

If there are women where I'd say it's acceptible to date with fakies, it's those tribal women. Women who make walls jealous are more attractive than the tribal mammy-flaps.

[DVD_Ripper]

Just the other day when I was beating my wife for not having my pipe and slippers ready when I got home from work, I remarked how much I admired her even with the black eye

If we only could get Mrs Capmaster to read that thread... Mr Capmaster may be one of the missing posters

[northcat_8]

Then i must be messed up. i like being friends with females, and rarely fancy anyone. i can look at a girl and think "she is physically attractive" but if i can't talk with her it ends there. i more often chat with girls, find one i like chatting to a lot and then once i'm fairly sure she likes me try instigating something.

perhaps i should be a little more reckless...

and when was the last time you got laid?

Yes you are messed up.
I see several problems that you are going to have to overcome in order to score some split tail Flan.

#1 - too much talking. You are the guy...shut the **** up...your job is to listen. She doesn't care what you think or how you feel about shit she doesn't know anything about...talk with her great...but talk about her.

#2 - "fairly sure she likes me then...." WTF???? Take a chance. Maybe she does like you but by the time you are "fairly sure" she likes you, she may think you're gay with all that talking and all those "feelings".

#3 - "physically attractive" what the hell is that Is she hot or not? Does she have a nice ass? Is she "pointed" in the right direction? (that would be nice tits, for some of our slower viewers) Does she have long legs? How does her hair look? You've got to ditch the "physically attractive" thing. You are not in a lab, she is not a white mouse.


Awe **** it flan...I will write the pussy poaching 305 course of study with you in mind. I am 2 shakes of lambs tail from going on a "Get Flan Laid" mission.

Do not misunderstand, women are not objects and I do not think they should be treated as objects. But keep it straight, they get just as much out of the encounter as you do (unless you are a lame ass premature ejaculator). Men just feel it is for them because we have to do all the work. A woman is just like a combination lock...you just have to find the right combination. You'll see, to be honest, there is only one female in my past that I had relations with that now hates me and that's only because after our relationship ended, I started seeing her mother. Not my fault, she broke up with me.

No worries flan, at the end of Pussy Poaching 305 you will be a changed man.

On a side note...you can also STFU...conversation Yea, how many ugly girls do you strike up a conversation with? When is the last time you rolled up on that 4 chinned chick sitting in the pub? And if you did and you enjoyed the conversation did you still think about bedding her?

Yea...that's what I thought...STFU.

[northcat_8]

I met my wife through friends and we actually never even thought of dating until several months after we would hang out together with friends. I was banging some of her friends at the time (which she knew of as we weren't with each other at the time and she and her friends would always talk), but we weren't even a thing at the time..... and I started dating my wife because we always got along very well. I didn't boff her until that first date when we had already known and gotten along with each other for quite a while. After 2 years of sacking with each other, we hitched. I never once slept with anyone else since the first day we dated. I know she hasn't been with anyone else either. Let me tell you I've given her a fair share of pearl necklaces.

OK DORAMIUS....you are telling me, that at no time during the time you were dating her friends that you didn't look at her and think "man she is hot" or "man she has a nice ass" BULLSHIT...your penis is going to fall off LIAR.
You "boffed" her on the first date for goodness sake. So you just told on yourself. If you weren't thinking about "boffing" her, then when she made the move you would have turned her down....but you didn't did you? (at a boy).

You have touched on a very important subject here that I will cover in "******* Her Friends 903" but that is an advanced class and we have much ground to cover before then. Banging her friends is an art and many base coats have to be applied before making that first stroke. (this is actually how I got my wife. when she first met me she thought I was an *******, I was dating one of her friends and I dated them all. There were 6 in the group.)

[d_unbeliever]

i like the pic in beavereater's sig more than his avatar...
i'm a hentai lover

[Doramius]

Honest northcat. The only person I usually think of is the person I'm dating or banging. Don't get me wrong, I thought she was hot, but at most I just wanted to play with her knobbs. She made most of the moves on our date. Cool thing was I got to play with her knobbs. I just got the bonus of being laid. And now I get it all.

[Capmaster]

Just the other day when I was beating my wife for not having my pipe and slippers ready when I got home from work, I remarked how much I admired her even with the black eye

If we only could get Mrs Capmaster to read that thread... Mr Capmaster may be one of the missing posters

Dirty pool That's why Mrs. Capmaster doesn't know where I post other than a vague "the forum". She doesn't even know my user name, but I'm sure she could track me down by searching for "vinyl goat-******". There couldn't be too many forums with posts containing that, or could there?

[northcat_8]

Honest northcat. The only person I usually think of is the person I'm dating or banging. Don't get me wrong, I thought she was hot, but at most I just wanted to play with her knobbs. She made most of the moves on our date. Cool thing was I got to play with her knobbs. I just got the bonus of being laid. And now I get it all.

Po-tate-toe / Po-tot-toe....

Same thing different label.

"The only person i USUALLY think of is the person I'm dating...." but you did think she was hot and you did want to play with her knobbs......that's not "thinking of the person you are dating" now is it?????

You better save this line of bullshit for someone else...I see right through your words to the whore hound I knew you were to begin with.

A man could be walking down the street arm in arm with a beautiful woman and will still check out the mother of 5 digging groceries out of the backseat of her car. It's not your fault, it's genetic. But don't lie about it...and if by luck my hex worked and your penis does fall off from because of your repeated lying....no worries, I'll make sure the Mrs is well taken care of

It's the least I could do.

[Doramius]

The girl I was dating at the time was a large A-cup, almost a B. So I just pictured my, now, wife's boobs on her. Still thinking of the person I was dating, just adding (mentally) to her physique with the resources at hand.

[flaninacupboard]

Honest northcat. The only person I usually think of is the person I'm dating or banging. Don't get me wrong, I thought she was hot, but at most I just wanted to play with her knobbs. She made most of the moves on our date. Cool thing was I got to play with her knobbs. I just got the bonus of being laid. And now I get it all.

Your wife has nobs? PLURAL penises?!

Think you married the wrong chick.....


Cap, do you tell her stories from the forum, or keep it sthum so she won't get curious?

[Doramius]

Here we also call a womans boobs knobbs or knockers. for a guy it's abbreviated to nob. It'd be kind a strange to see a guy with 2 nobs, though he's probably a very happy guy.

I too also wonder what Cap tells his mrs. When I'm at home, sometimes I let my wife see what I'm doing and often she gives me ideas, especially on the Politik forum. She might go there soon with her own user name, but it'll be later as she can't be on the internet at her job.

[northcat_8]

I'm a liar and a whore hound.I'm a liar and a whore hound.I'm a liar and a whore hound.I'm a liar and a whore hound.I'm a liar and a whore hound.I'm a liar and a whore hound.I'm a liar and a whore hound.I'm a liar and a whore hound.

Hmmm....seems that the quote button filters out the bullshit and only posts the truth

[Doramius]

I am the ruler of the new world. All shall bow don to me with humility. Those that defy will be subject to mass torture using my devices which Northcat, Capmaster, and Indo have built. You will respect them as well or they shall rub you down with 60 course sandpaper, wrap your genitals and eye lids in piano wire, and drag you by the wire through a slip and slide slicked with turpentine and bull urine. If you complain about it, they'll chuck a lit cigarette at you.

Hmmm....seems that the quote button filters out the bullshit and only posts the truth I bow down and enforce your masterful laws.

Wow, I didn't know it did that. :P

I need black pudding from a hot 14 year old virgin.

Don't we all. Don't we all. That's an impressive tongue you have there. Has had a lot of exercise I see.