MMR vaccine price?

[devinemi83]

As for the hep a vaccination, I got this as soon as I could. Spoke with an Infectious Disease(who in my profession opinion didn't know shit) specialist who stated he didnt recommend it for Cent America and especially for the US. The following month 300 people in my area contracted it from a restaurant in a nice suburb. My friend and his dad got this at the same time without eating at this establishment. His dad almost died. So I like to over self immunize. Id get a smallpox booster but I have a contraindication.

Hey was that the chi chis incident near Beaver? I live right outside Pittsburgh and that was HUGE news.

[Doramius]

Small Pox is probably the easiest disease to wipe out, but it comes back every so often. Odd thing is, everytime it comes back it's in a weaker form.

I agree with the 'not urinating in lakes in foreign countries. Not only for the parasites, but for other animals. There's a small fish that is attracted by the warm path and swims in your urethra to lay eggs, but before it lays it's eggs it opens up with all it's quills and then dies. Imagine a burdock or a thistle opening up inside your canal and having to get surgery to have the fish removed. They say you should cover the tip of your penis with a tight woven cloth (or a piece of plastic) and then tie a small cord around firmly. Native women usually don't go into the lakes in these areas.

[Capmaster]

Small Pox is probably the easiest disease to wipe out, but it comes back every so often. Odd thing is, everytime it comes back it's in a weaker form.

I agree with the 'not urinating in lakes in foreign countries. Not only for the parasites, but for other animals. There's a small fish that is attracted by the warm path and swims in your urethra to lay eggs, but before it lays it's eggs it opens up with all it's quills and then dies. Imagine a burdock or a thistle opening up inside your canal and having to get surgery to have the fish removed. They say you should cover the tip of your penis with a tight woven cloth (or a piece of plastic) and then tie a small cord around firmly. Native women usually don't go into the lakes in these areas.

The tight woven cloth and the small cord means the women can lead around the men by their shlongs ....oh wait, they already do that.

Can you imagine going to an emergency room to get the fish removed and having a nurse on duty who has no idea about that sort of creature: "Um, sir ...... what exactly were you doing that you got a fish lodged there?"

[Doramius]

better yet, Here's a funny LA Times article about going to the doctor's office. This happened years ago, but I managed to find it. I also take it this guy has not been to Salt Lake City recently. I think Salt Lake, NOW, has less mormons than most of the surrounding towns and cities. If most of the people in SLC are still mormon, they don't practice it like those outside of the city.

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomazewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burn Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomazewski and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.

"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in.", he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon', my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomazewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball. Tomazewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

Editor's Notes : Top Ten Scariest Things About This Story

10. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum ...."

9. "So I peered in to the tube ...".(I'm sorry, but that's like looking through a telescope into hell. I'd rather use binoculars to stare at the sun).

8. That poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem) being shot out of a guy's ass like Rocky the Flying Squirrel on Rocky and Bullwinkle.

7. Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of someone's anus. I'm guessing, but I seriously doubt the gerbil was springtime fresh after his journey in Kiki's "tunnel of love."

6. People walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas in their rectums.

5. People who do this kind of thing and then admit what they were doing when taken to the emergency room. Sorry, but I think I would have made up a story about a gang of roving, pyromanical, anal sex fiends breaking into my house and sodomizing me with charcoal lighter fluid before admitting the truth. Call me old fashioned, but I just can't imagine looking at a doctor and saying "Well Doc, it's like this. You see, we have this gerbil named Raggot and we took a cardboard tube ..."

4. "First and second degree burns to the anus." Wouldn't this make the burning itch and discomfort of hemorrhoids a welcome relief ? How does one ever take a healthy dump after something like this? And the smell of a burning anus must in the top five most horrible scents on the face of God's green earth.

3. People names "Kiki" which is obviously a Polynesian word for "Idiotic white man who inserts rodents up his butt."

2. What kind of hospital would hold a press conference on this?

1. This happened in Salt Lake City. What kind of people are those Mormons? I am getting a whole new image of the Osmond family.

[Guest]

As for the hep a vaccination, I got this as soon as I could. Spoke with an Infectious Disease(who in my profession opinion didn't know shit) specialist who stated he didnt recommend it for Cent America and especially for the US. The following month 300 people in my area contracted it from a restaurant in a nice suburb. My friend and his dad got this at the same time without eating at this establishment. His dad almost died. So I like to over self immunize. Id get a smallpox booster but I have a contraindication.

Hey was that the chi chis incident near Beaver? I live right outside Pittsburgh and that was HUGE news.

Nope .Metro Detroit

[Capmaster]

Doramius,

That's great I like the comments after the story

[Doramius]

Doramius,

That's great I like the comments after the story

That was all in the article. I bet the editor had a fun time creating the story.

[Capmaster]

Doramius,

That's great I like the comments after the story

That was all in the article. I bet the editor had a fun time creating the story.

The big risk in editing that story would be how not to wet your pants from laughing so hard

[flaninacupboard]

was that really the first time you heard it cap??
It's been all over the interweb for years, and even featured in an episode of south park!

[Capmaster]

was that really the first time you heard it cap??
It's been all over the interweb for years, and even featured in an episode of south park!

I heard one about these two gays who went into a SF ER room. One had a vase stuck up his ass. When the doc said he'd have to break it to remove it, the guy said "nooo, it's an expensive vase". The doc replied "if it's that expensive, don't keep it there!". Laughed my ass off for days over that one. I never heard the explosively-launched gerbil one though. That one is even better I hope it's not just an urban legend like most of the Darwin Awards :P

[flaninacupboard]

i think it probably is, there's been so many versions i've heard with subtle alterations.

[Doramius]

I remember those from a few years back. Didn't they supposedly give out a Darwin Award to the only guy that survived riding in his contraption of helium filled weather balloons and a long lawn chair?

[Capmaster]

I remember those from a few years back. Didn't they supposedly give out a Darwin Award to the only guy that survived riding in his contraption of helium filled weather balloons and a long lawn chair?

That one was real. I still have the picture somewhere of him floating over LAX on that thing He doesn't qualify though because you have to die doing something stupid in order to qualify

The one I was most disappointed with when I learned it was an urban legend was the guy who strapped a JATO bottle on the back of his car, and the Arizona Highway Patrol found it buried 150 feet up the face of a cliff, estimating the speed at impact of 300 MPH or some such insane speed. I desperately hoped that one was true because it would have meant that the human gene pool is indeed self-cleaning

[flaninacupboard]

if he survived he doesn't deserve a darwin.....

[Capmaster]

Ahhh, found it

[Doramius]

There should be some sort of award for that guy though. And they still arrested him when:

First it wasn't his fault for floating through LAX airspace. He drifted by the winds.

Second, it wasn't really a qualified aircraft. Could you imagine trying to register an aircraft like that? "Ma'am, where do I place the sticker on my craft? The left or the right leg of the lawn chair? Got anything that'll stick to rust?"

Third, The guys was probably scared out of his wits as it was and didn't need the extra stress.

Fourth, If LAX was so worried about other crafts flying through their airspace, they should've noticed him before he even got close and cleared his way through as an emergency case.

You'd think a smart thing to do was test and see how many balloons could take your weight and see if you can actually pop one, especially if your way of poping the balloon was using a BB gun. I've shot at some air filled rubber balls with a BB gun at close range and had the pellets bounce off. I can only imagine how stong a weather balloons skin is.

[Guest]

was that really the first time you heard it cap??
It's been all over the interweb for years, and even featured in an episode of south park!

I heard one about these two gays who went into a SF ER room. One had a vase stuck up his ass. When the doc said he'd have to break it to remove it, the guy said "nooo, it's an expensive vase". The doc replied "if it's that expensive, don't keep it there!". Laughed my ass off for days over that one. I never heard the explosively-launched gerbil one though. That one is even better I hope it's not just an urban legend like most of the Darwin Awards :P

True experience: ER as an intern.
1. 62yo WM comes in complaining of abdominal pain. Denies history. X-ray shows what looks like a door knob in his pelvis. Pt remembers history. He was in bed when someone broke in. He was so startled,he jumped straight up in the air and landed on the bedpost which detached into his rectum. OK ,we humored him. Surgery came to see him and said he would need surgery to remove it. He said he was going to leave and go to hospital "X" where they got it out last time without surgery. This guy needs an alarm on his house

I got a couple of other good ones.Stay posted.

[flaninacupboard]

haha "where they got it out last time without surgery"
brilliant! still denies all knowledge! nuts the size of grapefruit, obviously....

[Guest]

haha "where they got it out last time without surgery"
brilliant! still denies all knowledge! nuts the size of grapefruit, obviously....

******* as well

[Doramius]

I have a hard time squating out certain diameter Poops. I'm hoping the knob or bed post was a small one. They probably should have used the same method to get Raggot out of Kiki's tunnel of love. I also don't understand why any male would enjoy having a sizeable inanimate, or like animal, shoved up his a**.

[Guest]

2. Guy comes in with a glass coke bottle up his ass. History:walking around the kitchen naked,slipped and fell on the returnables.

3. Guy comes thru the ER with a plastic toothbrush travel holder in his ass. I read the chart for history

I was just playin around and something happened

The surgeons took it out and wanted us to do a barium enema on this patient to rule out a bowel perforation. Usually, the tech "tips" the patient before we come into the room. Tech got me explaining there were some problems. This gentleman was experiencing severe pain when we tried to tip him. Mind you, the tip was about 1/3 the diameter or the toothbrush case. Talked to the surgeons- easy extraction, no tears, inflammation,etc.

They talked to the pt explaining this was the last test he needed to be discharged. Due to the circumstances,I tipped him. Not a wince nor a flinch.

I do understand the pt's embarrassment and inital reaction, so I do kinda feel bad for him. At least he was honest up front and didn't try to make up a story like the first two guys.



oh,yeah- I never saw this pt,only his x-ray in the teaching file. You can see the soft tissue outline of his penis. In it is a broken chicken bone. Try explaining that one. I wish I had heard the story. I was holding up KFC naked when.......

[Doramius]

2. Guy comes in with a glass coke bottle up his ass. History:walking around the kitchen naked,slipped and fell on the returnables.

3. Guy comes thru the ER with a plastic toothbrush travel holder in his ass. I read the chart for history

I was just playin around and something happened

The surgeons took it out and wanted us to do a barium enema on this patient to rule out a bowel perforation. Usually, the tech "tips" the patient before we come into the room. Tech got me explaining there were some problems. This gentleman was experiencing severe pain when we tried to tip him. Mind you, the tip was about 1/3 the diameter or the toothbrush case. Talked to the surgeons- easy extraction, no tears, inflammation,etc.

They talked to the pt explaining this was the last test he needed to be discharged. Due to the circumstances,I tipped him. Not a wince nor a flinch.

I do understand the pt's embarrassment and inital reaction, so I do kinda feel bad for him. At least he was honest up front and didn't try to make up a story like the first two guys.



oh,yeah- I never saw this pt,only his x-ray in the teaching file. You can see the soft tissue outline of his penis. In it is a broken chicken bone. Try explaining that one. I wish I had heard the story. I was holding up KFC naked when.......

When my wife worked for a plastic surgeon, the resident told her about a guy, at one of the hospitals he had practice with, that came in the ER with a straightened paperclip in his peins. He came into the ER holding straight out his penis in his hand. Apparently he was doing this because it hurt when he let go and the skin moved back into normal position. Aparently the paperclip end had gotten stuck over an inch into the urethra. The other end was well down into the guy. The resident didn't get the full story of how it happened, but can you imagine the explanation to the doctor?

[BJ_M]

oh,yeah- I never saw this pt,only his x-ray in the teaching file. You can see the soft tissue outline of his penis. In it is a broken chicken bone. Try explaining that one. I wish I had heard the story. I was holding up KFC naked when.......

go to www.worldofgore.com and there is some video clips there that make a chicken bone up the shaft look down right like a date with barbie

[Doramius]

oh,yeah- I never saw this pt,only his x-ray in the teaching file. You can see the soft tissue outline of his penis. In it is a broken chicken bone. Try explaining that one. I wish I had heard the story. I was holding up KFC naked when.......

go to www.wordofgore.com and there is some video clips there that make a chicken bone up the shaft look down right like a date with barbie

I think you meant www.worldofgore.com and that place is pretty sick. It's hard to view some of that. Reminds me of the 'Faces of Death' and 'Traces of Death' video series'. That stuff is messed up.

[BJ_M]

right -- fixed now .. thanks ..

we are not sick there -- just nuts .. :P