The Global Economy, with examples

[SatStorm]

The Global Economy, with examples

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbor

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows, the government take them both and gives you some milk

FASCISM : You have 2 cows, the government take them both and sells you some milk

NAZISM: You have 2 cows, the government take them both and kills you because you wasn't allow to have them first place

BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows, the government get them both, kill the one, it milks the other and at the end, through away the milk

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows, you sell one, and with that money you buy a bull. So, you multiply cows / bulls and you end up with a flock and the economy develops smoothly. Then, you sell the flock, you become rentier and you live better the rest of your life.

AMERICAN ECONOMY: You have 2 cows, you sell one and you force the other one produce milk that corresponds for 4 cows. Later, you hire a expert to analyze the reasons that this specific second cow, is now dead.

FRENCH ECONOMY: You have 2 cows and you strike because you want 3.

JAPANESE ECONOMY: You have 2 cows and you redesign them in a way that they end up 1 / 10 of their size and produce 20 times more milk. Then, you design a cartoon, you label it COWKEMON and you sell it all over the world

GERMAN ECONOMY: You have 2 cows and you redesign them, so to live 100 years, eat once a month and self milking

ITALIAN ECONOMY: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are, so you do a break for lunch and dinner (both).

RUSSIAN ECONOMY: You have 2 cows, you count them and you learn that in reality, they are 5. Then, you count them again, and you learn that you have 42. The third time, you learn that you have 2 again. Then, you stop counting and open the next bottle of Vodka.

CHINESE ECONOMY: You have 2 cows, 300 men milk them and you claim that you ensure complete employment and high productivity by this action. At the same time, you arrest the journalist that announces those numbers in public.

GREEK ECONOMY: You have 2 cows and you sell them at any cost, because the media around you said so. With the few money you get, you give advance in order to buy a new car, like the rest Europeans are capable to do decades now. Then, you pay the rest price of the car, in 7.083 monthly doses. Meanwhile, the media around you point you that "Buying 2 cows" is the next step for the success of the economy

INDIAN ECONOMY: You have 2 cows and you honor them (cows are holly animals in India)

BRITISH ECONOMY: You have 2 cows, and they are both "crazy"



Please feel free to add more Economy examples and alternatives

[flaninacupboard]

SCOTTISH ECONOMY: You have two cows, and decide they look tasty. you kill them and then boil their brains, livers, kidney and heart inside their own stomach(s). After realising it's disgusting you sell it to American tourists as a delicacy

STAR TREK ECONOMY: You have two cows, but the prime directive stops you from saving them when they chew through power cables.

[pacmania_2001]

AUSTRALIAN ECONOMY: You deal with the cows you are given then around election time the government gives you another one as an "allowance" read "vote-whoring" however in doing so it totally ignores the people who are in dire need, the goat farmers because their votes aren't as important.

[flaninacupboard]

i meant to say, COWKEMON! Brilliant! i think that should be your member status sat!

[Rookie64]

An example of the US economy:
You have 2 cows - you are automatically charged with bestiality and animal cruelty by PETA and condemned by every religious group, women's organization as well as everyone in your community ...in your defense, you claim you were drunk and mistaken (Betsy) your other cow for your wife (hey, it's an honest mistake in these here parts)
You are found guilty, up to your neck in court fees and given a double life sentence ...you appeal pleading temporary insanity ...your lawyer presents evidence that you were in the bad habit of frequenting the Off Topic Forum at videohelp.com and the judge orders you to get immediate counseling and therapy ...at this point your shrink has you convinced you were once abducted by aliens and you are then placed into a mental institution (with your own padded room)
Your story attracts media attention and you are offered a book and movie deal, and the MPAA and movie studios along with their lawyers milk your cows for every penny they can get (yea, you know Jack wants a piece of Betsy too)...leaving your cut to go to your court fees, lawyer fees, your shrink, hospital bills for all the medication they have you doped up on by now and the rest to the IRS
Years go by after spending much time in rehab and you are now all alone and start writing Bubba (your old cellmate)...and the 2 of you run off to Canada, get married and live happily ever after.
So take Bart Simpson's advice and "Don't have a cow, man"

Edit:
Also, while Hollywood was milking your cow...the movie goers were the ones getting screwed by the bull.

[SatStorm]

Shit man, shit.....

[Capmaster]

Capmaster Economy - Keep one cow for milk and butter, and dress up the other cow in heels and a garter belt .......... 8)

[Roundabout]

Mexican Economy:

2004: You have 2 cows. They are Cowtholic so they have lots of calves. Now you can't feed them so you send them to "El Norte" and greener pastures. The government of "El Norte" pretends to control how many calves come in, but in reality, likes the fact they keep the pastures maintained and all the milk they produce.

"El Norte" pays lip service to keeping the calves away, but in reality, sends message "Keep 'em coming, we like cheap milk!" Soon country overrun with too many calves, but no one notices until it's too late.

2010: Changed "El Norte" to "Bovinia" by popular vote.

2012: Bovinia declares bankrupcy, sells remaining assets to France.