Did they at least eat the hen afterwards?

[offline]

[teegee420]

Is there no thread safe in Off Topic? I think not.

Maybe Baldrick should either create a new forum or rename this one the "OFF-COLOR" forum.

I'd just assume name it "Fucked Up". At least you know what you're getting yourself into ahead of time.

[Ripper2860]

Yeah! You're right.

Baldrick --- How about a FUCKED UP forum.

[Ripper2860]

OKNTISRSFUS -- OK Now this Is Some Really Seriously Fucked Up Shit!

I would expect much better behavior from a Moderator.

I LUV IT !!!!

[northcat_8]

HOLY ******* COW

I am gone for one day and look what you guys have sunk to... ...words cannot express how proud I am of you guys

Well I might as well throw in my 2 cents...since the park rangers thought I was too drunk to fish...I tried to tell them I was trying to catch the alcoholic fishes using beer cans but they didn't believe me. Anyway, that's a different story.

While tasting your own...stuff ...is so far past sick and disgusting. Everyone needs to STFU...everyone is at least a 2nd hand **** sucker. If you eat at the Y...well guess what else goes in there besides your tounge...do you kiss your wife? girlfriend? Yea, what does she suck with? Right Answer me this...If you took a big shit on a plate, would you wash it, then eat off of it? NO? Why not it's clean...isn't it? Yea....but you stick your tounge in there where only your dick goes and call it clean

I know it's different because it's not actually in your mouth...and I know she showers and washes and brushes her teeth...but by that logic if you dropped an ice cream cone in shit, you would just wash it off and eat it anyway...right?? No, you'd throw it away.

and STFU about tasting shit...there isn't a man alive who eats the tang that hasn't slipped and ran the tounge over the a-hole. And YES YOU have you lying MFers. Hell some of girls request a little tossed salad and you know damn good and well if she wants it you give it.

and by the same token...you know once a month blood comes out of her, so she showers...so what...how many of you have cut your finger and stuck it in your mouth?? SAME ******* THING, without the clots.

Hell 95% of men don't wash their hands after taking a piss, and will walk straight from the restroom to the concession stand and get a hotdog or popcorn and not think a thing about it. Or grab a cigarette or chew...I don't understand those who do wash their hands...either it is so short that they piss on their hands or they are just retarded. I don't know about anyone else, but my tounge has been anywhere I've stuck it into so what makes the difference?

Now with all of that said...EWWWWWWWWWWWW....no tasting my own anything!!!!!! That is just sick sick sick

and all of you are fucked up

[pacmania_2001]

So I think with the contribution of Northcat's post I can now officially name this thread:

The most fucked up thread on VideoHelp

[teegee420]

Just when I thought this thread couldn't get any worse. Bravo, Northcat!

[flaninacupboard]

offline, that menu is sweet! i'll bet it's gracing cobras' door

Ripper, you have some issues man! you've nver tasted your own earwax? never had a good old rummage then later on abesnt mindedly bitten your nails?

and i'm surprised no-one will own up to tasting their own man-juice. i mean, you made it! never been with a girl who wants to snowball?

As for ball sweat, you've never had a good old scratch and then accidentally chewed nails/eaten crisps/licked tomato sauce off?

[Capmaster]

This thread is so fucked up, I nominate it for sticky status ....for more reasons than one

[northcat_8]

Well since the thread is already fucked up, this won't damage it anymore

There use to be a song...that went something like:

"ever wonder if mom gave dad a BJ before she kissed you goodnight"

Don't forget your parents were your age once, so everything you have thought, or done...they were that age and had those same thoughts and activities AND...so will your kids

[Capmaster]

Well since the thread is already fucked up, this won't damage it anymore

There use to be a song...that went something like:

"ever wonder if mom gave dad a BJ before she kissed you goodnight"

Don't forget your parents were your age once, so everything you have thought, or done...they were that age and had those same thoughts and activities AND...so will your kids

Never gave it a thought. Now I will ....thanks Northcat

[Cobra]

offline, that menu is sweet! i'll bet it's gracing cobras' door

No, but I have just seen it and thought it could adorn the door of our crapper. On the inside, naturally - anywhere else would just be disgusting.

Cobra

[Capmaster]

offline, that menu is sweet! i'll bet it's gracing cobras' door

No, but I have just seen it and thought it could adorn the door of our crapper. On the inside, naturally - anywhere else would just be disgusting.

Cobra

Cobra has good taste after all. That nenu wouldn't be nearly as tasteful as the picture of Dolly with clown makeup getting rodgered

[flaninacupboard]

i once walked in on my parents having sex against the basin in the bathroom.

[Capmaster]

i once walked in on my parents having sex against the basin in the bathroom.

How long was it before you used the basin again?

[flaninacupboard]

uh..... *uses fingers* Six years and counting!

I got revenge for it, not long after they walked in on me and my girlfriend on the sofa in the living room

[Capmaster]

uh..... *uses fingers* Six years and counting!

I got revenge for it, not long after they walked in on me and my girlfriend on the sofa in the living room

Ahhh, revenge is sweet. So is a piece of ass on the sofa while your parents are home

[flaninacupboard]

any piece of ass would be nice, sofa or otherwise. i've been single for a year and haven't been laid since christmas

They should have known better anyway, i'm surprised they couldn't hear her from the other side of the house. or maybe they did and just wanted to check i wasn't killing her

[Capmaster]

any piece of ass would be nice, sofa or otherwise. i've been single for a year and haven't been laid since christmas

Walk in front of me, OK Flan? Better yet, ya wanna borrow Dolly when Indo's done with her?

[Ripper2860]

Ripper, you have some issues man! you've nver tasted your own earwax? never had a good old rummage then later on abesnt mindedly bitten your nails?

and i'm surprised no-one will own up to tasting their own man-juice. i mean, you made it! never been with a girl who wants to snowball?

As for ball sweat, you've never had a good old scratch and then accidentally chewed nails/eaten crisps/licked tomato sauce off?

Ummmm -- mostly no.

1. Never Snow-balled
2. Don't bite my nails

It's possbile that sometime after "adjusting" myself I may have snacked on some chips before washing up, but rest assured I don't lie around eating chips, playing with myself and licking my fingers. I've never loaded up a chip with ball sweat and after biting gone "WTF! That tasted strange -- must have been my ball sweat!" I try to at least exhibit a small amount of hygene when eating. Unless my ball sweat tastes like Doritos Spicy Nacho chips, I can honestly say I've never tasted my own ball sweat (or anyone elses for that matter).

It's one thing to inadvertently come into oral contact with the substances listed (via transference) and a whole different matter to just sit there and say "Hmmm. I wonder what the **** my jiz, or ear wax or ball sweat, tastes like? I think I'll have a taste."

I just do not lay awake at night wondering what kind of culinary delights these types of secretions might bring. I do have "ISSUES" (as we all do) -- however, I just don't consider this one of them.

This thread just gets more fucked up by the minute !! I LUV IT !!!

[flaninacupboard]

Walk in front of me, OK Flan? Better yet, ya wanna borrow Dolly when Indo's done with her?

Sorry, i should have been more specific

Yeah, a lend of dolly would be great. then i can compare the taste of indo's man juice to my own as well. what a treat!

[northcat_8]

OK...well while Ripper is in denial..... :P

@Flan - since christmas??? Seriously??? Good God, you are a stronger man than I. I start craving after 24 hrs but can last 48 hrs...after that it's trouble....it's like the dogs all look at eachother and say "stay away from him, it's been 2 days and you know how that mother ****** is..."

2 weeks **** that, I'm buying it if I can't catch any at the bar...which has never been a problem...I mean, there is alcohol...it stays open until 2:30 or 4:00 depending...if you can't score some tail at 2:30am then either your standards are too high or you need to attend some different establishments

[Ripper2860]

OK! I confess ...

I eat a cum and fecal matter sandwich (on wheat) for lunch everyday while scratching my balls and picking my nose. I wash it down with a glass of chilled, sugar-free, ASS SWEAT (freshly squeezed after a 2 hr. workout on my treadmill the night before) and to fight the in-between-meal cravings, I have an earwax appetite suppressing snack.

There! You all happy now! My dark secret is out!
You know what -- I like it! It tastes good and it's good for me to boot!

There now! I feel liberated! I feel free! Go ahead -- make fun of me, but you all know you do it -- you're just too chicken-shit to admit it!!!

BTW -- yeah it does taste like chicken and I've lost 20lbs !!

Now if you'll excuse me -- I must go induce vomiting !!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes, Life is like a shit sandwich! Just ask "flan".

[flaninacupboard]

i live in the middle of nowhere, and thanks to my last girlfriend, don't have a group of friends to hang out with. hanging out in a pub on your own is the quickest way to inform the whole community you're desperate.

the problem is, all the girls hit 18 and go to uni, then go live in a city somewhere. what's left is too stupid to have a meaningful relationship with, too ugly to just hit. i want to move into a city, but am just too ******* poor. of course you also need to consider that even if i DID find someone to be with, i still live with my ex....

Hey, do i get a new category? TLIFU, This Life Is Fucked Up.

Well, one day my parents will die, maybe then i can have their house

[Ripper2860]

Damn! That's just ******* sad!

Here's to you and things getting better!!

Meanwhile, you got this sick buch in the "off-topic" forum to live vicariously through! God knows I do !!

[flaninacupboard]

yeah, reading about northcat and his hot teenage students helps

Oh, did i mention that i work for my ex's aunt and uncle?

[Capmaster]

Flan,
I feel bad now about my insensitive comments. I'm the last one to rub in someone's misfortune. Please accept my apology, and I hope things take an upswing for you real soon. I'm serious

In the meantime, you can get it out of your system all you want here, live vicariously, post-whore excessively, and try to out gross-out northcat - that's setting the bar high

[flaninacupboard]

In the meantime, you can get it out of your system all you want here, live vicariously, post-whore excessively, and try to out gross-out northcat

hey, i've been trying!

Yeah, a lend of dolly would be great. then i can compare the taste of indo's man juice to my own as well. what a treat!

That doesn't count as gross in your book?

No need to apologise for anything, it's all in good fun.
Hopefully things will pick up next year, you'll all know if my life suddenly improves - i'll disappear. in the mean time i'll just be hanging out here talking shite [/quote]

[northcat_8]

Admitting you have a problem is the first step to finding a cure Ripper...Good Man.

Damn Flan, that sucks...and still living with the EX While my complete lack of feelings and sympathy prevents me from appologizing for my comments :P

Seriously dude...that just sucks. I don't think going to the local pub alone is a sure fire way to say "loser". Maybe that's self imposed imagery. It doesn't bother me to go places alone...matter of fact I kind of enjoy it. But I'm very social and I meet people very easily. To bad you don't live here in the states, we could go out and we would have a great time. When I go out I always have a great time...most of my friends are right along the samelines as I am...we are a whole group of some sick bastards :P The only draw back is we typicaly need bail money but we always have a blast

[zzyzzx]

wife found him having sex with a hen

But that's the guy's fault to begin with. Women control half the money and all the pussy, and they learn at an early age how to use sex as leverage...he should have put an end to that years ago. That's bullshit. While I agree that 2-3 times a day may be an overload for a woman, I don't think 2-3 times a week is too much to ask. See chicken ****** here should have followed my step by step process. My wife cut me off once (for coming home from a friend's house 20 minutes late), ONCE...in her words "well you're cut off for 2 weeks"....yea, well she didn't realize just how big of a vindictive ******* I could be.

Perhaps you should have brought home a chicken the day after she said that you were cut off for 2 weeks.