Ugly women

[Capmaster]

Think back to the worst piece you ever had....it was still pretty good wasn't it?

No. It was awful. On the way home I decided I actually would have preferred jerking off to the news ...it was that bad That night I realized I'd definitely have to set my sights a little higher

Really??? To the NEWS

Damn that sucks (or at least you wish it would have )

But still whackin it to Walter Cronkite...Ted Koppel....Dan Rather...
I don't know dude, it had to be pretty bad.....I would have to experience that girl for myself

She was a skank. Mikki DiPaolo ...she had a nice body and face, but oh, man ...the girl never bathed and I hate to think of what else. And me with no protection. It was like screwing a floater I kept waiting for that painful urination to start, but I lucked out.

[Doramius]

Like I said, Lightswitch only works for the face. I've had a bad puss too. It's like try to hump a dull, greasy cheese grater, only not as fun.
If it's got tits like the chunks of old milk, you're gonna be shooting pool with a rope.

[flaninacupboard]

ahhhh, gotcha. who knows how much man cheese you plughed through that night, eh cap?

friend of mine was seeing this girl (who incidentally fancied me to the point she made up i was screwing her. four times a night. in a multi storey car park.) and after they split he told me some disgusting stuff. apparently she didn't clean herself. he complained not only of the smell but the awful, awful taste. even northcat would have stayed away

[Doramius]

If it smells in the underwear, don't go anywhere near there.

The girl has got to clean herself, even if she uses perfume. There's nothing worse than smelling stetson with 5 day B.O. You'll pass out from holding your breath.

[Capmaster]

ahhhh, gotcha. who knows how much man cheese you plughed through that night, eh cap?

friend of mine was seeing this girl (who incidentally fancied me to the point she made up i was screwing her. four times a night. in a multi storey car park.) and after they split he told me some disgusting stuff. apparently she didn't clean herself. he complained not only of the smell but the awful, awful taste. even northcat would have stayed away

Ahhhh, Mikki was in the UK
I didn't even try checking the taste. If something is bad enough to make your eyes water, you pretty much know what that'll taste like. Feh ...feh .....pfrrrtttt ....gag......

[northcat_8]

Like I said, Lightswitch only works for the face. I've had a bad puss too. It's like try to hump a dull, greasy cheese grater, only not as fun.
If it's got tits like the chunks of old milk, you're gonna be shooting pool with a rope.

GOD DAMN MAN

"Hump a dull, greasy cheese grater"??????
"Tits like chunks of old milk"???????

HOLY COW.. ..WTF were you drinking? I'm staying away from that stuff

Lightswitches worked for me, I didn't bring home the elephant man's sister

Nice face and nice body, with no shower I can deal with...I mean hell, just **** her in a swimming pool, lake, river, ocean, shower, etc, etc.....I think my "leader" would like a rain coat on such a mission and I would definitely give him one...but pass up pussy I've never thought of it. Now Nice face and nice body, with no shower....those are red wings, not krust wings....to receive a red wing preview I'm going to need a clean running lane

[Capmaster]

Like I said, Lightswitch only works for the face. I've had a bad puss too. It's like try to hump a dull, greasy cheese grater, only not as fun.
If it's got tits like the chunks of old milk, you're gonna be shooting pool with a rope.

GOD DAMN MAN

"Hump a dull, greasy cheese grater"??????
"Tits like chunks of old milk"???????

HOLY COW.. ..WTF were you drinking? I'm staying away from that stuff

Lightswitches worked for me, I didn't bring home the elephant man's sister

Nice face and nice body, with no shower I can deal with...I mean hell, just **** her in a swimming pool, lake, river, ocean, shower, etc, etc.....I think my "leader" would like a rain coat on such a mission and I would definitely give him one...but pass up pussy I've never thought of it. Now Nice face and nice body, with no shower....those are red wings, not krust wings....to receive a red wing preview I'm going to need a clean running lane

You'd pass by this one. Imagine screwing a warm bowl of rocky road ice cream ....wet, yet lumpy. I hate to think of what's been fermenting in there .....man cheese ....lint ...leftovers from last month .....she probably used her rags over every month if she even used any

[rhegedus]

I think we have a winner

You are so right.................




As someone said:

I just saw one of the new adds you have done for Lux soap. I wondered who chose to shoot you with your collar bone sticking so far out it looks as though it might break your skin? I wondered who thought it would be attractive to squeeze your obviously flat chest so hard into a corset that some rucks of skin would be pushed out of the top to masquerade as breasts? I wonder if you know my Dadda calls you 'horse face'? I wonder if you know you are one of the few things I agree with my Dadda on?

Yep, she sure is a hatchet faced wench.

[Capmaster]

I think we have a winner

You are so right.................




As someone said:

I just saw one of the new adds you have done for Lux soap. I wondered who chose to shoot you with your collar bone sticking so far out it looks as though it might break your skin? I wondered who thought it would be attractive to squeeze your obviously flat chest so hard into a corset that some rucks of skin would be pushed out of the top to masquerade as breasts? I wonder if you know my Dadda calls you 'horse face'? I wonder if you know you are one of the few things I agree with my Dadda on?

Yep, she sure is a hatchet faced wench.

[rhegedus]

Hit it? She's been hit enough already when she fell out of the ugly tree and caught every branch on the way down!

[Doramius]

You haven't had bad puss then. I wasn't drinking anything at that time, and later that night I wish I had. I doubt that drinking would've have helped any. I am also pretty sure the yellowish orange goop on my little wick was not from me. This woman had bad cheese that had a horrible smell. if douching means smelling fresh, this woman had 20 day old tomatoes rotting in her cupboard.

[tekkieman]

Think back to the worst piece you ever had....it was still pretty good wasn't it?

Nope. Only because I was too drunk to really remember it. Did it in my van parked outside my sister's house. She came by the next day to return my jacket that she borrowed, and my family just looked at me like...WTF!!!!

I almost even puked after seeing it in the daylight! I didn't think things like that could survive in the daylight!

[flaninacupboard]

reminds me of a joke? why is a woman like a KFC bucket? because after you've ploughed through the juicy breast and enjoyed the tender thigh, you've got nothing left but a wet greasy box to put your bone in

[northcat_8]

You haven't had bad puss then. I wasn't drinking anything at that time, and later that night I wish I had. I doubt that drinking would've have helped any. I am also pretty sure the yellowish orange goop on my little wick was not from me. This woman had bad cheese that had a horrible smell. if douching means smelling fresh, this woman had 20 day old tomatoes rotting in her cupboard.

You weren't drinking

DAMN DUDE, I can't help you then, that's on you...it apparently seemed like a good idea at the time.

The worst I've ever smelled was just a strong musky smell, no rotten tomatoes or anything....god damn ....didn't you smell your finger for christ sake

[northcat_8]

You'd pass by this one. Imagine screwing a warm bowl of rocky road ice cream ....wet, yet lumpy. I hate to think of what's been fermenting in there .....man cheese ....lint ...leftovers from last month .....she probably used her rags over every month if she even used any

I don't even want to know how you came up with that comparison

But I believe you are right....it would be the first I have turned down, but the first shall it be then.

[northcat_8]

Think back to the worst piece you ever had....it was still pretty good wasn't it?

Nope. Only because I was too drunk to really remember it. Did it in my van parked outside my sister's house. She came by the next day to return my jacket that she borrowed, and my family just looked at me like...WTF!!!!

I almost even puked after seeing it in the daylight! I didn't think things like that could survive in the daylight!

That's your own fault. If you know your taste in women is suspect when you get to drinking then:
#1 - don't take her to your house, in front of your house or anywhere else close to anything familiar to you.
#2 - don't loan her clothes
#3 - don't give her your REAL NAME that's a no brainer
#4 - don't give her your phone number.

They are simple rules...

[flaninacupboard]

could always just do her in ass.

or **** her a bit then force her down on you, ultimate revenge!

hell, if the smell were that bad i'd spunk in her eye to teach her a lesson.

[teegee420]

This thread is fucked up.

[flaninacupboard]

no shit!

[teegee420]

Bad cheese? How ******* revolting was that?!

[tekkieman]

That's your own fault. If you know your taste in women is suspect when you get to drinking then:
#1 - don't take her to your house, in front of your house or anywhere else close to anything familiar to you.
#2 - don't loan her clothes
#3 - don't give her your REAL NAME that's a no brainer
#4 - don't give her your phone number.

They are simple rules...

At least you didn't say DON'T DRINK! The rest of the rules I can live with. However, at the time, the van was my house. It was just parked in front of my sister's. We only went there because I smashed her car into a guardrail.

I didn't loan her my jacket. She "borrowed" it when she left sometime before daylight. Again proves that things like that should be able to survive in the light!

No phone in the van (before cell phones were available to the general working public)

Definately no names!

[northcat_8]

could always just do her in ass.

or **** her a bit then force her down on you, ultimate revenge!

hell, if the smell were that bad i'd spunk in her eye to teach her a lesson.

At a boy Flaninacupboard, show em' the way.

Capmaster, tekkieman, Doramius, teegee, take some notes you Ney Say-ers, Flan's glass is half full, while your's are half empty...where there's a will there is a way. I'm tired of this sniveling, whining, it smells, it's too slick....bullshit...straighten up men, have some pride.

I am going to nominate Flan for a promotion in the "Red Wing Army"....How does Sargent Flaninacupboard sound?

Flan...you need to take the vinyl goat ******, the dull greasy cheese grater humper, the vampire ****** and straighten these boys out. You need to take this handful of fire pissers and turn them into the multi-whores we both know they can be. You also need to teach Teegee to use his own dick when banging questionable quiff, he could use mine but a real Red Wing Marine would use his own and be damn proud of it. Now get out there boys, don't forget your regulation issued camouflage condoms...there might be some muddy terrain on this mission.

and yes, yes...TTIRFU

[Doramius]

I never said it coudn't be done. I'm saying I'm not going to do it. I could run butt naked through a briar patch then relax in a hot tub of Listerine, while watching House Of The Dead and a man's smelly fat a** in my face, but there are some things I just won't do a second time.

[northcat_8]

At least you didn't say DON'T DRINK! The rest of the rules I can live with. However, at the time, the van was my house. It was just parked in front of my sister's. We only went there because I smashed her car into a guardrail.

I didn't loan her my jacket. She "borrowed" it when she left sometime before daylight. Again proves that things like that should be able to survive in the light!

No phone in the van (before cell phones were available to the general working public)

Definately no names!

Actually I would say to drink more...maybe had your drank more, you would have still been passed out and she would have just left your jacket.

Ah, it's OK, we've all been there...well at least I have, and my friends have. As a friend I have the responsibility to my friend to prevent him from taking home things he shouldn't. However, if I mention my objection to him and he is still sober enough to tell me to STFU and kiss his ass then I am absolved of my responsibility.

Living in van...parked in front of sister's house Rookie mistake...we'll let it slide...THIS TIME

[northcat_8]

I never said it coudn't be done. I'm saying I'm not going to do it. I could run butt naked through a briar patch then relax in a hot tub of Listerine, while watching House Of The Dead and a man's smelly fat a** in my face, but there are some things I just won't do a second time.

ROFLMA

DAMN that's a pretty strong objection

[tekkieman]

Actually I would say to drink more...maybe had your drank more, you would have still been passed out and she would have just left your jacket.

Ah, it's OK, we've all been there...well at least I have, and my friends have. As a friend I have the responsibility to my friend to prevent him from taking home things he shouldn't. However, if I mention my objection to him and he is still sober enough to tell me to STFU and kiss his ass then I am absolved of my responsibility.

Living in van...parked in front of sister's house Rookie mistake...we'll let it slide...THIS TIME

Yes, a rookie mistake, but at the time I was young and stupid. At least now I'm old! And my so called "friend" ran out on me hours before. At least I got some revenge for that...he's now married to one of my other sisters! I wouldn't even wish that on someone like jeex.

Finally, I too have earned my red wings. But at least it was with something decent. Must of been.....I married her!

[northcat_8]

Yes, a rookie mistake, but at the time I was young and stupid. At least now I'm old! And my so called "friend" ran out on me hours before. At least I got some revenge for that...he's now married to one of my other sisters! I wouldn't even wish that on someone like jeex.

Finally, I too have earned my red wings. But at least it was with something decent. Must of been.....I married her!

Males only come in 2 types:
Young and stupid
Old and stupid


Difference is when we get older we can bullshit better

Congratulations on the Earning of the Wings, feel free to use the URL on my signature pic, until you get your offical membership card and newsletter in the mail. It's a really good article this month...sorting clots without breaking rythm...very important stuff

[glockjs]

vs

[flaninacupboard]

I am going to nominate Flan for a promotion in the "Red Wing Army"....How does Sargent Flaninacupboard sound?

Yes sir! Reporting for duty sir!

All right you sons of bitches, listen up. if it stinks, breathe through your mouth. if your fingers are dirty, stick them in her mouth. if your mouth is dirty kiss her as long as you can. if your dick is dirty, find someone else to ram it in to clean it off.

Always go-o, to her place!
Never sta-ay for the night!
**** her dump her, on your wa-ay,
do-on't want a waking fright!

No get out there and pro-create, my evil post-whore fuckwits!

[Doramius]

You know what's really bad is when you can't breathe through your mouth, because it is sooo bad. it's like kissing someone's armpit when they haven't showered in a month and they had old mayonaise stuck in the hair. Screwin' chick's like that should be an obstacle on 'Fear Factor'. My willy is high and mighty. He doesn't stoop to the Fugly. He did that once and regretted it the next day. If I'm going to screw someone who's got skin like leather and drooping down to the ankles, it better be my wife after another 30 years. I wouldn't call a Fugly's pussy desireable when it's more rank than a drunks breath in a latrine. There are plenty of butt-face women out there with good bodies that you can settle with and get a good screw without having to take home someone that reminds you of a granny when they're 18. You can also get with a chick that at least showers weekly. I've also found, butt-face women want to be desireable in certain areas, because that's all they are good for and they know it, so they tend to be a little more spring time fresh. I can handle beath like an ashtray, but rotting fish and old mayonaise taste is not what I call a picnic.