Newbies 104: The Post Whore

[glockjs]

why oh why do i even read these posts anymore, thanks indo i just lost a few more iq points well what the alkyhol left to waste anyways

[Ripper2860]

Mr. Wankher -- can TeeGee do that!? Is that not cheating!?

TeeGee! Cut it out -- you're going to blow the grade curve!!

If there is one thing I hate is a friggin "Promising Post Whore" with no friggin scruples racking up the post count with one word posts ruining it for us amateurs!! That's Bullshit!!

Mr. Wankher Teegee needs to go to the headmaster's office !!

[northcat_8]

Mr. Wankher - can I move? I can't see the board, Capmaster's goat is in the way.

[offline]

Attention! everyone. Be quiet. This is campus security. We have
an announcement to make. You sir, take your hands off that goat at
once.

Right now.

I want you to stay calm. We have a report that the naked geek is
loose somewhere in the building. I want you all to stand up
facing the front. Now have you all seen Trading Places - you
know that movie? Yes. No. well it does not matter. I saw the
Swedish version.

Now I want you all to turn to the person to the left. I want you now
to reach out with your right hand. Your right hand and leave the
fu**ing goat alone. Thank you!

Now I want you to reach out to the person on your left and using your
right hand I want you to..


..grab his or her crotch. Get a good grip.

Say "Head Cheese!!"

Thank you for your co-operation, Dr Khan and I will
process these and let you know how much for the negatives
after the exam.

[indolikaa]

Good afternoon, students.


Faculty is in the process of grading your examinations at this time. Overall, it would appear you have not only grasped the concepts associated with Post Whoring, but have demonstrated your understanding of its finer points. I do have a few comments I would like to pass on from faculty.

* The Village Idiot, Dr. Khan has informed me your requested grading curve will be suitable for this exam. Whether or not it is appropriate for a collegiate professor to test the grading curve with one's tongue, I have not decided.

* Capmaster, I have scheduled a private testing session for you this evening. Turning in a rabies vaccination certificate for your goat is hardly what I would consider to be an appropriate method for completing your exam.

* teegee420, I believe you need to check your schedule. Blindsiding someone with a string of consecutive posts is a Newbies 107 elective course. I would also ask that in the future that you please refrain from trying to shove your pencil up Ripper's nose. And eyes. And ears. And, well, you get my point.

* northcat_8, while I must admit you at least had the decency to fornicate with a member of your own species during the examination, some of your answers concern me. Particularly the fact that you referred to all the individuals on the exam as, if I may quote, "a bunch of goat-*******, red-wing masticating anal-retentive retards." Including yourself. I would like to discuss these matters with you at a later time. Perhaps at your next parole hearing?


Dr. Khan will be announcing the results of the exam, along with some individualized comments, Sunday evening.


I.D. Wankher,
Associate Professor of Newbiology
Snowflake University

[gitreel]

Dr. Khan

I missed the class

Could I get a make-up test?

[offline]

I missed the class

Dr. Khan is in the restroom cubicals with the negatives and one
of the students. Dr W's office is on the 7th floor and out the window. Ask him.

[gitreel]

No thanks, I don't feel like jumping.

[Capmaster]

TeeGee! Cut it out -- you're going to blow the grade curve!!

..grab his or her crotch. Get a good grip.

Mr. Wankher - can I move? I can't see the board, Capmaster's goat is in the way.

Ripper broke my pencil

Buncha discipline problems :P ....detention after school for everyone

[The village idiot]

* The Village Idiot, Dr. Khan has informed me your requested grading curve will be suitable for this exam. Whether or not it is appropriate for a collegiate professor to test the grading curve with one's tongue, I have not decided.

I think you better form an investigation to probe the viability of the tongue tasting (testing ). Here is another for you consideration, I would send some better photos, but I'm afraid it would be against the rules. (as it is, this one might be borderline)

[northcat_8]

1. True - always start with true
2. True - smarter than thou teachers always go "true" twice to start
3. False - better throw a false in there
4. False - see reason for #2
5. True - statistically it's time for another "true"
6. False - start 2nd set of 5, opposite then how you started first set of 5.
7. False - see reason for #2
8. False - trying to be tricky making sure there isn't a pattern
9. True - 4 falses in a row is statistically unlikely
10. True - teacher always want to end on a positive note.

at any given time answers 4 and 5 could be switched, if 6-8 are false then 9 - 10 are true, if 6-8 are true then 9-10 are false. Glass half full teachers will end with true, the tougher disciplinarian teachers who tend to see the glass as half empty will end with false.

[lordsmurf]

Do post whores get paid?

Is BALDRICK the pimp?

Are newbies the Johns?

[gitreel]

Do post whores get paid?

Is BALDRICK the pimp?

Are newbies the Johns?

1. No
2. Yes
3. Yes

[Ripper2860]

Mr. Wankher,

Your lecture was most informative and certainly the best I have had in my academic endeavors. I am most appreciative that you have chosen the path of educator and feel that my life has certainly been enhanced by your lecture on "The Post Whore".

As a token of my appreciation, I have affixed a crisp $100.00 bill to my final exam paper. Please do not view this as an attempt at "buying" your favor or an attempt at buying an excellent grade. I know you are an ethical man and are beyond reproach. You would never accept a "gift" in exchange for a high grade and again, this is merely a show of appreciation.

I did not know of a favorite charity of yours to which I could donate on your behalf, so I would ask you to take this crisp $100.00 and select your most favorite charity as its' recipient.

Thank you !!

Ripper2860 -- aspiring Post Whore and giver of the crisp $100.00 bill.

[stiltman]

I feel left out

[gitreel]

Don't feel bad, I missed the lesson too.

[indolikaa]

I feel left out

Oh don't worry, Leisure Suit Larry. I've got big plans for you in an upcoming seminar. :P

Don't feel bad, I missed the lesson too.

You too, Mr. Explosive Space Modulator.

[gitreel]

Yes. Hugo is not far behind. He is looking for the explosive space modulator.

[Tiny71]

Is there an audio version? That is just way to many words.

[Guest]

I feel left out

Dont worry u can have my spot.I'm skippin' today.

[flaninacupboard]

Mr wankher, i think wackjob wants to join the class. he's got an average of over 6 posts a day so he's a bigger whore than me. shall i pm him to invite him?

[teegee420]

Speaking of Wackjob...

and after his first flamewar, teegee will become our next Veteran.

I wish to submit my work here and also here.

[flaninacupboard]

that guy is as crazy as a can of spam. wonder whether he'll come back for some more abuse?

[teegee420]

One can only hope.

[flaninacupboard]

how cruel.












I like it!

[teegee420]

Back for more

[flaninacupboard]

please see https://www.videohelp.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=222670&highlight=

Edit:
Lame! shut down! just after i came up with a witty retort.

Yep that's baldrick.

Now if only you'd applied your apparent internet skills (or did someone help you with that? i mean you put up your OWN picture, not one someone else scanned in for you, AND you did something not everyone fresh out of AOL knows how to do. impressive) to this website. you would have found your answer and kept your trap shut.

Whoever said we were open and honest? you said we had free speech? who said you're allowed to go against the administrator? no-one. please vote foer a different party at the next election. oh wait, we're in an evil dictatorship. guess you're fucked then. royally. in the ass. by capmaster

[teegee420]

...in his full clown garb glory.

[indolikaa]

Whoa. No more ******* wine coolers for me on a Saturday night. Bitch-slapping wackjob around at 2:30 in the AM after consuming (counting bottles on desk...) 16 B&J's...

What did I miss? I see we have some locked and parsed threads. Fill me in, the material maybe suitable for one of my upcoming seminars.

Dr. Khan, having been passed out for pretty much the whole day, did not get around to grading your papers. And Dr. Wankher wasn't much help, seeing he got lost somewhere between the Ranch and the liquor store. Please check my office tomorrow for the results to your exams.

Hail Baldrishhhh....

[flaninacupboard]

the mods have made wackjobs threads disappear! shame......

wonder if hes been banned?