Forced Vertical Insertion

[offline]

Sounds rude but I hear it is what the US Army uses to
describe jumping off a plane without a functioning parachute.
When you hit the ground, and die presumably, you do not
get a body bag - you get a Human Remains Pouch or HRP.

This *weird speak* can also be seen in the workforce.
How many have heard the term Kitchen Technician when
referring to a dishwasher? How about a Customer Service Engineer
when referring to retail counter staff?

What about medicine? When you buy those little pills you do
so for a medicinal effect right? What about the other effects
that the manufacturer can't deal with. Don't worry, those are
just "side effects" Just so you know, the old formula for
a anti-diarrheal product called Lotomol listed death as a side effect.

During the Vietnam war they changed the term Search and Kill
to Sweep and Clear so nobody would be offended. How often
have you noticed the "newspeak" that is creeping into our
language?

Here is a couple more off the top of my head:

- If an ally shoots you then you are a victim of "friendly fire"
- If you kill civilians by error they are "collateral damage"
- if your soldiers die they become NCP's or Non-combatant Personnel.

[tgpo]

Fired becomes Laid Off
We Don't Want You becomes Over Qualified
It's You becomes It's Not You, It's Me
You Suck At Your Job becomes It's Just Not Working Out
This Is Your Last Chance becomes Lets Try Something New
Lets Waste Time becomes 1:00pm Meeting
I Hate You becomes Yes Sir
I Never Thought Of That becomes I Was Just About To Say That
I Don't Understand becomes That's About The Same As What I Said

[888888]

While I do agree that Orwell's legacy lives on, I take issue with some of your examples.

*Weird speak* as you call it

This *weird speak* can also be seen in the workforce.
How many have heard the term Kitchen Technician when
referring to a dishwasher? How about a Customer Service Engineer
when referring to retail counter staff?

is just politically correct naming that is nothing new. Luckily, most people tend to ridicule this type of naming.

I don't see how "side effects" is newspeak. If only 1% of people taking a drug get certain effects, what should call them, "1% effects"? And if 99% get these effects, why would you advertise an allergy drug for exampl. as doing something negative in the same column as its indications. This is not some medical conspiracy, it's just common sense and accepted medical practice. Also, I actually googled lotomol and found nothing. Pretty obscure I guess.

How is friendly fire newspeak? Are you supposed to call it a "bullet blooper" or something. Simply a term that refers to someone on your side-(friend) shooting at you-(fire) hopefully accidentally. Another invention of Big Brother, I don't think so.

Ok, now I am officially late for college.

[Capmaster]

Ahhh ....euphemisms. They can be funny.

When we test a bomb in Nevada and the parachute doesn't deploy, we call it an "unscheduled earth-penetrator test".

When it doesn't work at all, it's called "fornicating the canine".

At merit review time, prior to being evaluated, we meet with our supervisor. Afterwards, when we meet with him to find out what our "raise" is, we call it "raise-up-on-this time".

When the raise process is repeated the next year, it's "Bohica", or bend-over-here-it-comes-again.

When we leave work for the day, the phrase "let's blind this place with ass" is often heard.

When my second car threw a rod going 80 MPH, it sounded like "the Tin Man beating off inside an 80-gallon drum".

[indolikaa]

We abandoned neutron bombs because it was unethical to kill people and not buildings...

Thanks Jimmy!

[Guest]

I love the job speak: stewardess = flight attendant. Stewardess is like a bad word now. You really get some frowns and corrections using thiso ne.


I think I'm gonna change Dr. to Professional Health Engineer Healer Guy. :P

[offline]

Brother, I don't think so.

I'm sorry you can't see that the choice of language outlined
was designed to modify thinking. New Speak has been
around for centuries and Eric Blair in his essays recognized
that. So it is not new. It is PC. It is euphemistic. It is medically
accepted practice. So what? You have not invalidated any
of my points.

How is friendly fire newspeak?

Excuse me Are u kidding??

BTW just because google does not list something does not
make it obscure If the google database represented
the real world I'd see alot more naked chicks for a start

PS. Eric Blair was the real name of G. Orwell.

[Rookie64]

I love the job speak: stewardess = flight attendant. Stewardess is like a bad word now. You really get some frowns and corrections using thiso ne.

That would be due to many of 'em being dudes nowadays...it would be weird calling a guy a stewardess

[indolikaa]

When my second car threw a rod going 80 MPH, it sounded like "the Tin Man beating off inside an 80-gallon drum".

I didn't know a Yugo could go that fast. Are you sure that wasn't 80 KPH?

[northcat_8]

When my second car threw a rod going 80 MPH, it sounded like "the Tin Man beating off inside an 80-gallon drum".

with so many drugs in the world if one of the side effects cures cancer?

Politically Correct = sugar coated pussified version of true facts to lessen the offense taken by the people who care more about the path than the destination, more about the wrapping than the present, more about how something seems rather than how it really is.

Last time I check it didn't matter if you got kiled by "friendly fire" or "enemy fire" dead is dead, how it came about is really irrelevant to the dead guy.

some that I can think of:

crippled became handicapped
parents became buddies to their children
teachers became daytime babysitters
slow learner became learning disabled became special education
blind became visually impaired
quick divorce became a dis-illusionment (shoule be "good sex but can't stand eachother")
******* became making love became marriage became celibacy
addiction is now psychologically dependant (or physically dependant...or both if your name is capmaster :P)
bitch became very outspoken woman
******* became very outspoken man

I say **** all of that, if I get shot I don't care who did it...I'm still shot and if I'm still alive I'll probably be some old crippled, retarded, half blind, ******* and I would appreciate it if I were addressed as such if those circumstances ever come to pass.

[indolikaa]

OK, *******.

[offline]

According to theory, the only thing that has yet to come to
pass is the shooting bit

Sorry

[northcat_8]

OH I forgot one of my biggest pet pieves...

drunk or alcoholic or drug user is now "chemically dependant"

while I still argue that the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is the drunk doesn't have to attend all those damn meetings.

And thank you Indo for not being politically correct.

thank you too offline and by the way, I love your signature...but that's just not right

[offline]

thank you too offline and by the way, I love your signature...but that's just not right

I saw that the first time you said it and I agree. I'm a sicko just
like the rest of you vinyl loving red winged censored thong
nuclear badasses.

[Capmaster]

thank you too offline and by the way, I love your signature...but that's just not right

I saw that the first time you said it and I agree. I'm a sicko just
like the rest of you vinyl loving red winged censored thong
nuclear badasses.

[curryman]

Offline's Quote
"The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this: You're a Siamese Twin. Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay. You're not. He has a date coming over tonight. You only have one ass"

Where did you get that,
it's brilliant

[gitreel]

forced vertical insertion

that sounds bad. That is something michael jackson would do. Quick everyone hide your kids

[shoozleboy]

I'm still waiting for gmatov to post in this thread !!

This is beginning to sound like him......

[Capmaster]

"The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this: You're a Siamese Twin. Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay. You're not. He has a date coming over tonight. You only have one ass"

Offline - how can you be attached at the shoulder and only have one ass? LMAO

Good sig though

[Cobra]

When it doesn't work at all, it's called "fornicating the canine".

What do you do in that scenario? You know what they say, you should never go back to a firework that hasn't gone off!

Talking of stupid job naming, I was at one point a "Car Park Marshal". Read: "trolley lad". Sainsbury's still call them that, along with people like "Checkout Captains", people who direct customers evely along tills. It's ridiculous, I worked on trolleys, working on a till or on customer services and supervising the checkouts. I had some long job titles, but in the end I'd happily settle for "Checkout Staff". Simple, to the point and you actually know what I do - isn't that the point of a title?

Cobra

Edit - Your sig is one of the best I've seen yet, though, Capmaster!

[indolikaa]

thank you too offline and by the way, I love your signature...but that's just not right

I saw that the first time you said it and I agree. I'm a sicko just
like the rest of you vinyl loving red winged censored thong
nuclear badasses.

You are.

[northcat_8]

thank you too offline and by the way, I love your signature...but that's just not right

I saw that the first time you said it and I agree. I'm a sicko just
like the rest of you vinyl loving red winged censored thong
nuclear badasses.