Funny Simpsons quotes

[Devanshu]

"Worst episode ever"

I thought about it but didnt post it because I thought it was a "catch phrase"...along the same lines as

Burns: Excellent
Nelson: Ha-Ha
Homer: Doh!!
Lisa: I'll be in my room
Barney: BUUUUURP
Bart: Ay-Caramba

[j1d10t]

I thought it was a "catch phrase"...along the same lines as

Burns: Excellent
Nelson: Ha-Ha
Homer: Doh!!
Lisa: I'll be in my room
Barney: BUUUUURP
Bart: Ay-Caramba

Then you can't forget Krusty's "Hey-hey!!"
And Marge's "Mmmmm" (not the "this tastes good kind of Mmmmm", but the stern "I don't like this kind of Mmmmm")

[VCDHunter]

Homer - "Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy."

[Conquest10]

This one came on last night:

Homer: Welcome to the Internet, my friend, how can I help you?
Comic Book Guy: I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud Internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?
Homer: [stares blankly for a few seconds] Can I have some money now?

[j1d10t]

Homer after saving Patty and Selma from losing their job at the DMV, because they were smoking: I'd kill for you, Marge! Please ask me to kill for you.....

Homer: Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

[phonomas]

Homer: "...but I love you too Marge, you're the bringer of beer."

[Ziffelpig]

DOH!!!!

[j1d10t]

Ralph: The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there.

Bart: Just so you don't hear any crazy rumors, I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia.

Homer talking to Ned, Maude, Rev. Lovejoy, and Mrs. Lovejoy: If Homer Simpson wants his ten year old son working in a burlesque house, Homer Simpson's ten year old son will work in a burlesque house.
(Ned, Maude, Rev. Lovejoy and Mrs. Lovejoy leave and Marge was standing behind them)
Homer: Now Marge, you may hear a lot of crazy rumors about Bart working in a burlesque house....

[rhegedus]

The episode where Homer gets accused of sexual harrassment has some great lines in it:

At the end of Homer's 'Under the sea' song, Marge says something like 'we can't all live under the sea', to which Homer replies, 'Not with THAT attitude!'.

And, of course:

Homer : Marge, my dear, I haven't learned a thing.

[phonomas]

Bart: O.K. crew, set your faces to "stunned"....

[then opens the janitors closet to find Skinner & Crabapple making out]

[j1d10t]

Krusty after finding out how crappy Kamp Krusty was: To make it up to you kids I'm taking you to the happiest place on earth, Tijuana!!!

Homer (while showing the family around the monorail cockpit): I call the big one bitty.

[henk schuifkaas]

Marge: Homer, no!! You'll kill us all!!

Homer: Or die tryin...

[flaninacupboard]

i love the worst episode ever thing, you can translate it to everything in the world!
"worst meal ever."
"worst processor ever."
"worst parking ever."
"worst sex ever."


Etc.

[northcat_8]

The episode when homer was going to be an inventor and he shoots marge in the face with the makeup gun...

"Homer you have it set on whore"

Same episode when Bart says "comin through...gotta poop"

When Mr. Burns says "SIMPson eh?"


Another favorite isn't really a quote but I guess it could be...

When Homer looks at his hand and on the palm is written:

Lenny - white
Carl - black

[Flave]

Homer: Operator, give me the number for 911!

[Guest]

Homer: Stupid,kharmic retribution!!

[c_hernandez32]

The episode when they go skiing and Homer meets Flanders. Later Homer tries to remember how to stop.

Flanders (in a thought bubble): It's like wearing nothing at all, nothing at all, nothing at all!

Homer: Stupid, sexy Flanders.

[Guest]

[Guest]

MMMMMMMMMM......Beer (or doughnuts)......ghurgle, ghurgle.....


Now this is a true story....

There is a guy who is a photographer for the local newspaper...and he looks exactly like, EXACTLY like the Comic Book Store guy. It's amazing.

Post a photo

[northcat_8]

Dr.Gee, I'll have to see if there is one of their website.


Another favorite quote:

The episode when Marge wrote a book...

Homer is talking to himself in the car....

"Arghh, I guess I'm going to have to read Marge's stupid book, and I swore I would never read again after "To Kill a Mockingbird" told me nothing about how killing mockingbirds."

[indolikaa]

That noise Homer makes when he froths at the mouth over something...

[lordsmurf]

Old man: "I want some taquitos."

... in the episode where Bart takes the old folks home on a cruise. I think he said it like every 4-5 minutes.

[rhegedus]

Marge quoting her uncle:

Shoot them all and let God decide!

[dxj40c]

After being told there was a seven day waiting period on a gun purchase.
Homer: "Seven Days! But I'm mad now."

[zzyzzx]

The eposide where they were enacting several scenes from history and they were in France in the middle ages and Lisa is Joan of Arc. They are at the dinner table and Lisa says that she is going to lead the Army to Victory, and Homer Responds:

Victory??? But we are French. We don't even have a word for that!

[Conquest10]

When they come out of church and see that its the end of the world.
Lisa: It's the Rapture and I've never experienced true love!
Homer: I never used those pizza coupons.

[Pwyll]

Homer to Bart: Stealing?! How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives sermons at church? Captain What's-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you?

[Conquest10]

When Homer stopped going to church:
Homer: Kids, let me tell you about another so-called "wicked" guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was...I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too. Marge, you know who I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?

[Denvers Dawgs]

Ralph wiggum...."it tastes like burning"

[pyrate83]

There's so many.....