Cousins

[stiltman]

Well I called Mandy last night.

We talked for hours....

[Capmaster]

Well I called Mandy last night.

We talked for hours....

Is there a reason I should know who Mandy is?

[Doramius]

Did you catch the Game?

Yeah! What a rotten score!

Pretty shitty effort there. Did you hear about Dan?

Oh my God! I was there, hahaha pretty funny!

So how goes your Penis?

What!!?

Oh, my Penis. You caught me off guard because I call him 'Eduardo'.

Eduardo?

Yep! Eduardo.

So how big is he?

About average. 8 inches.

Surely you jest.

No really. I measured it just this afternoon. Went down to the hardware store and measured it.

Right in the store?

Yep. Brought a tape measure into the bathroom with me. The clerk hassled me because I had brought merchandise beyond a certain point. Once I had explained it to him, he understood and asked to borrow the tape measure as he went in to check.

He went in to check?

You got it. Come to find out the guy's a teenie peenie, but girthy.

Well, last time I checked I was about 9 inches myself.

You're s**ting me!

No really. Not much girth so it feels like using a toothpick to screw a sink drain, but most women these days are about as loose as granny skin anyway.

I hear ya there.

It pleases the women. At least I know how to handle it.

That's the important thing.

Wanna masturbate?

Already did. Saw the waitress over there and I had to break the pony before he roamed wild.

Yeah that'd be embarassing. I saw the same waitress, so I'll be back in a few.

See ya in a few. You'll have to tell me what you call y
ours when you get back.

[clink beer glasses together]

[stiltman]

Well I called Mandy last night.

We talked for hours....

Is there a reason I should know who Mandy is?

https://www.videohelp.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=174572&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

[Capmaster]

Well I called Mandy last night.

We talked for hours....

Is there a reason I should know who Mandy is?

https://www.videohelp.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=174572&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Oh right Sorry stilt ...it was hiding in the first post. This thread has been so jacked I forgot it was about cousins.

[northcat_8]

so stilt...is she hot or not? Cause she ain't MY cousin

[northcat_8]

and Doramius...DUDE please Dude...DO NOT FORGET YOUR MEDICATION

[Capmaster]

and Doramius...DUDE please Dude...DO NOT FORGET YOUR MEDICATION

No shit. WTF gets into you, man? You scare me with posts like that

[Doramius]

Just wanted to give 'the bomb' what she wanted to hear. This is what we want to hear.

Hi Natalie.

Hey Pam, How's work going?

It's fine, I hate the girl that sits next to me. It's like she's crimson 3 1/2 weeks of the month.

Is that Judy?

No, Judy is the one with the hair fetish and doesn't wear any perfume. I also heard that she REALLY needs to use a few feminine hygene products. Probably because she's such a slut around the office.

I know. So how big are your boobs?

Which one? Tina or Terry?

You've named them?

Not really. A boyfriend did, I got pissed at him for being insensitive, but I held the names because later I thought it was funny.

Did you get back with your boyfriend.

Heck no. I'd have to admit he wasn't really insensitive. I was just in a bad mood that day. I found out that I overwatered a plant and it died.

Oh my gosh. how shocking.

I know. I had been trying to keep that plant alive for 5 months, but I don't know anything about gardening. So what about you?

Well I haven't named mine, but the left is about half a centemeter bigger around. I think they're pretty comparable in size. I'm only a C cup though.

Really?

Yep.

You seem so much bigger.

I do use underwire. A bit uncomfortable, but I seem to get more notice. A little too much at times.

I know what you mean. Don't bother going without a bra either. I went without one and my back was so sore the next day and the skin on my chest felt like it was going to rip. On top of that every girl stares at you like "whore", and every guy tries to rub up against you. I wear a D, but I pad a little in front to hide the fact that I get cold often.

I know the feeling.

Hey, wanna kiss.

Kiss, heck let's go back to my apartment.

You must've gotten your odrer from the f**ker-wear party.

Uh-huh. Jack-Rabbit 2000 after watching Brad Pitt in TROY.

I'll bring the alcohol. Should we invite any guys?

A stripper maybe. Actually, lets see how drunk we get and see if we want to go clubbing to pick one up.

With ya there. Let's go to the bathroom.

Let me grab my purse.

[the bomb]

It was just a matter of time before one of you offended me. Nice going.

[Capmaster]

This is what we want to hear

Wrong

[northcat_8]

It was just a matter of time before one of you offended me. Nice going.

....we already knew that

Hell we even have a pool going on who will be the first one. Right now Capmaster is even money, Northcat is 2:1 odds, Ripper2860 is 3:1, Yoda is the longshot at 3800:1, there is no line on Doramius because...well...he just has that affect on most people

[Doramius]

Okay, Okay, this is what some of us think girls talk about when men aren't around. Actually, I want to hear, "Hey baby, you need a FULL massage?"

[Capmaster]

Doramius ...I suspect that what you think women talk about when we're not around isn't exactly ....ummmm ...."mainstream"

[the bomb]

Okay, Okay, this is what some of us think girls talk about when men aren't around. Actually, I want to hear, "Hey baby, you need a FULL massage?"

[Doramius]

It was just a matter of time before one of you offended me. Nice going.

....we already knew that

Hell we even have a pool going on who will be the first one. Right now Capmaster is even money, Northcat is 2:1 odds, Ripper2860 is 3:1, Yoda is the longshot at 3800:1, there is no line on Doramius because...well...he just has that affect on most people

I'm sorry, sometimes I offend, other times I don't offend fast enough. Everyone has slow days, Give me a little credit. :/

[the bomb]

**** Off!!!

You are in breach of the forum rules and are being issued with a formal warning.
/ Moderator BJ_M

[northcat_8]

Okay, Okay, this is what some of us think girls talk about when men aren't around. Actually, I want to hear, "Hey baby, you need a FULL massage?"

" "

WTF???? I am so offended by such a gesture, I have never seen or heard such abusive language in my life.

[stiltman]

IBTL!

[Doramius]

Doramius ...I suspect that what you think women talk about when we're not around isn't exactly ....ummmm ...."mainstream"

Okay, back me into a corner, why don't ya. I only care about what my wife thinks and I don't try to think of what other women say. So I'm a bit boring when I try to be funny. However, I find it a bit odd that 'the bomb' just felt offended and didn't try to dispute it's authenticity.

[northcat_8]

**** Off!!!

"**** you" / "**** off" which is it??

on one had it's an offer and on the other it's NO....

[sacajaweeda]

Good job Doramius. Props.

(IBTL)

[the bomb]

**** Off!!!

"**** you" / "**** off" which is it??

on one had it's an offer and on the other it's NO....

I got a yellow card for that one.

[northcat_8]

are we going to have to make you 2 sit on the couch and hold hands until you guys can get along


IBT

[the bomb]

It will never happen.

[northcat_8]

**** Off!!!

"**** you" / "**** off" which is it??

on one had it's an offer and on the other it's NO....

I got a yellow card for that one.

OMG that is funny, ROFLMFAO

Halarious.

Oh well, been fun, I'm out of here for today
These 5.5 hour days are wearing me out
I'll be heading up the michigan this weekend, being a buckeye I just hope I can get that smell out of my clothes when I get back home sunday

[BJ_M]

yea - that clean air kinda get to you ..... (unless your going to Detroit or Flint)

[northcat_8]

It will never happen.

You don't know how many time I've heard a female say that, and 2-3 weeks later, I hear her say "I can't believe that just happened"

never say "never" ~ it's motivation

[northcat_8]

yea - that clean air kinda get to you ..... (unless your going to Detroit or Flint)

Going to East Lansing, MSU baseball camp.

[Doramius]

**** Off!!!

"**** you" / "**** off" which is it??

on one had it's an offer and on the other it's NO....

I got a yellow card for that one.

someone needs a hug.