How to apologize to someone who you have offended?

[lordsmurf]

People never change. You adapt, you augment, you learn, you gain wisdom. But parts of you will never change, and nobody can do a 180. To "change" means everything is different.

Anybody that says otherwise is seriously kidding themselves. People like Oprah and Dr. Phil rake in tons of money because people are dumb enough to believe otherwise. A sucker and his money are soon parted.

This bitch is crazy. End of story. Sorry it took you so long to find out.

Do move on. You'll be better for it.

On a side note, I notice that WOMEN, especially ones that are depressed or otherwise imbalanced, are the ONLY ONES that ever claim to be "changed". It generally doesn't take you long to figure out they're still the same exact person, though they might have a new hobby or social circle. Hardly what I'd call "changed".

[Conquest10]

Why did it take you three months to figure this out?

I bent my wookie.

[ZAPPER]

Damn, kind of an anticlimatic ending here. Couldn't you spice it up a bit by telling us about the knock down drag out fight or the swinging from the chandolier sex?



Don't worry folks, I ain't over yet!

[lordsmurf]

I bent my wookie.

[scustalow]

I guess because I would like to think there is good in all people..and that the ones who says they are your friends are truly friends not one for a week or month or year..and will treat you like a friend too.. my only issue is ..was it the real her when we were friends or if now this is the real her.and if I did really do something or if it was just a excuse to not be friends any longer...maybe I was too trusting..

Why did it take you three months to figure this out?

I bent my wookie.

[Conquest10]

She's a woman. She doesn't need a reason for anything she does. She can change her mind overmight for no reason and its not something you did or not do. Nothing you can do can change her mind.

[Justprocessbaby]

Try this:

It's all about the confrontation: brave, braver, bravest...

If You Can't Say Something Nice, What Do You Say?: Practical Solutions for Working Together Better (Paperback)
by Sarita Maybin (Author) at:

http://www.amazon.com/You-Cant-Something-Nice-What/dp/1419630539/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-5...5515326&sr=1-1

[scustalow]

Hi all..well it has been sometime since I have wrote anytype of reply..or update..since that time the only thing I have found out is... that she knows I have no idea what I did to offend her and does not want to tell me....I am ok with her not speaking to me..but I sure would like to know why one day..

[Doramius]

Here's the situation. It's all moot because it's old now, but technically you've probably done more than nothing, so you're considered proactive. You have no idea what you did to offend. If it bothers the person so much, either they tell you, or they just bottle it up. Doesn't matter what you do or say. They more than likely will not care. You might get lucky though.

The thing is they need to learn to be "less offended". You can't teach them this. Just something the person has to learn on their own, if they ever do. If they are less offended, they will tell you and help you learn.

Just be sensitive and listen and be nice. If they aren't, it's their responsibility. You are taking the action and initiative to be nice and find out what you did wrong.

It takes 2 to tango, and it sounds like you're dancing alone.

[scustalow]

I know it is a old thing now..but I just can't figure out why someone wouldn't want the person who offended them to know what it was they said or did..? For what reason not to tell them either directly or indirectly..? I guess it is like puzzle with no clue on how to solve it..

Here's the situation. It's all moot because it's old now, but technically you've probably done more than nothing, so you're considered proactive. You have no idea what you did to offend. If it bothers the person so much, either they tell you, or they just bottle it up. Doesn't matter what you do or say. They more than likely will not care. You might get lucky though.

The thing is they need to learn to be "less offended". You can't teach them this. Just something the person has to learn on their own, if they ever do. If they are less offended, they will tell you and help you learn.

Just be sensitive and listen and be nice. If they aren't, it's their responsibility. You are taking the action and initiative to be nice and find out what you did wrong.

It takes 2 to tango, and it sounds like you're dancing alone.

[Tearren]

...wouldn't want the person who offended them to know what it was they said or did..? For what reason not to tell them either directly or indirectly..? ...

Well, if you were in a relationship (and I know you aren't, just giving an explanation here) I would say it is because the woman wants you to know her well enough to know what exactly you said offended her. Not saying I agree or even know half the time myself what I would say to offend a woman, but I do know that this reasoning has been explained to me. Also, to make matters even worse the fact that you don't know what you said to offend her could mean to her that you didn't know her well enough in the first place and you don't care about her. Once again, I am not saying this is logical to me, just has been explained to me how women think.

Personally, I think most times women know if they said what was upsetting to them outloud, it would sound stupid and so therefore don't really want to tell you.

Tearren

[Webster]

Personally, I think most times women know if they said what was upsetting to them outloud, it would sound stupid and so therefore don't really want to tell you.

I'll second that........................

[lordsmurf]

I know it is a old thing now..but I just can't figure out why someone wouldn't want the person who offended them to know what it was they said or did..? For what reason not to tell them either directly or indirectly..? I guess it is like puzzle with no clue on how to solve it..

You seem to have some kind of obsessive-compulsive issue going on.

[Doramius]

I know it is a old thing now..but I just can't figure out why someone wouldn't want the person who offended them to know what it was they said or did..? For what reason not to tell them either directly or indirectly..? I guess it is like puzzle with no clue on how to solve it..

This is probably something you should just let go of. However, the final decision is truly up to you. The fact that it bothers you just means you have compassion. You've heard the phrase based on the word "assume". (Never assume because it make an 'a**' out of 'U' & 'Me') This person is obviously assuming something. That doesn't make her a bad person, but she doesn't seem to want to get over it and resurrect a good relationship. It's time to move on.

That behavior doesn't make any sense to me either, but people just seem to act that way. At least you can still work professionally by moving on, instead of being eaten up by such a trivial incident. When she feels it's necessary, she'll tell you.

[the_man_one]

just appologise, if they dont accept it leave it to their on mind to roll over & over, while u go on with life showing them that the world dont revolve around them

[sacajaweeda]

And if I offended you, oh I'm sorry...
But maybe you need to be offended
But here's my apology and one more thing...**** you!

Cos you...can't...bring...me...down!

Bring me down-you can't bring me down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down, no!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down, no!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down, no!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down, you can't bring me down!

[TooLFooL]

And if I offended you, oh I'm sorry...
But maybe you need to be offended
But here's my apology and one more thing...**** you!

Cos you...can't...bring...me...down!

that has been the best advice in this entire pathetic post! i LOVE that cd!

[SquirrelDip]

And if I offended you, oh I'm sorry...
But maybe you need to be offended
But here's my apology and one more thing...**** you!

Cos you...can't...bring...me...down!

that has been the best advice in this entire pathetic post! i LOVE that cd!

Totally Agree!!!