HARD-DISK woman/Man: She/He remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM woman: She forgets about you the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS woman/Man: Everyone knows that she/He can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL woman/Man: They say she/He can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER woman/Man: She/He is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET woman/man: Difficult to access. // Everybody will access!!
SERVER woman/man: Always busy when you need her/him.
MULTIMEDIA woman: She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM woman: She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL woman/man: Every ten things she/he says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS woman: Also known as "wife"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything
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"There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon." -- Raoul Duke
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An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language.
He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she". One of the students raised their hand and asked - "What gender is a computer"?
The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it -
Treat a girl like a SCREENSAVER until she graduates to EXCEL. Dealt with a few WINDOWS & HARD DISKS. Luckily you will be able to dodge all VIRUSES. INTERNETS get used like they are (to get free shyt). Every girl you’ve encountered has been an EMAIL.
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